天使の翅膀

求职记　２

2012-01-14T20:42:00.003+08:00

烦够了…… 开始尽快整理下自己的烦恼……

基本上确实是自己想太多了，

想到如果那个公司聘请我，我该怎么办……

是否要接受还是拒绝……

还有那么多申请了的工作，难道就一一推掉吗？

14天，接了三个让我去面试的电话，

去了一个，拒绝了两个……

因为距离的关系，所有的开销都是一笔钱，

不想第一份工作做两个月就要辞职，

所以还是拒绝比较好～

是时候把焦点转到目前的工作（当罗里跟班+打杂）上，

暂时别太执着，等运到就好～

会不时提醒自己，

一直以来自己都是心想事成……

所以还是不要有太多负面想法好……

有参与课外活动，有一等学士文凭，

悲观/乐观，只是在脑里面的一些想法的运作……

并不是因为自己长得漂亮或拥有一些别人没有的东西所能够影响的……

Decision

2012-01-14T12:17:00.002+08:00

Submit application and wait for Graduate Program Interview..

If can join in one of it.. Then I have the opportunity to be future leader..

If can't join in, back up plan go for NGO and wait for Clinical Psych admission..

Let HIM decide my future.. @.@

求职记 1

2012-01-13T18:18:00.004+08:00

曾经在课本读过，写心情日记是有治疗效果的…… 也许，是时候再次更新 Blog 了……

最近两个星期，只是被找工的问题缠绕……

当初读心理学这科，是因为自己想成为临床心理治疗师……

毕业的这一刻，看着网上征聘广告，

惊觉不懂该何去何从，

接着开始有了加入人事部或者银行的念头……

也许工作会有压力，但是至少钱途会比较有保障……

为何一开始自己自己有这么一个想法，

应该是受电视机影响吧～

觉得心理医生好像很有型……

就那么一个单纯且幼稚的想法，

让我完成了大学四年的生活……

如今毕业了，发觉这条路不是想象中的简单……

心理学并不是如普罗大众一般的看法那么难读，

在毕业的这一刻，开始犹豫是否应该止步……

开始犹豫，这一行是不是自己想要加入的……

在实习的那几个月里，开始看到了助人工作者的伟大，

开始看到了社会温暖的一面……

感觉这一班助人工作者的出现，让这个世界真美好……

希望自己也可以在这一个行列付出一份力，

感觉这样自己也没有白来了这个世界，

虽然是收费服务，但至少我帮过人，帮到人……

为何那么有意义但是自己在这个时候却想着放弃呢？

担心，过不了面试那关，进不到硕士班……

担心，自己不适合做助人行业，原因和该死的性格测试有关……

担心，初入助人行业找不到吃，到时养活自己都成问题更别说顾及家人……

担心，负担不了到时繁重的课业……

太多对未来的担心……

仔细一看，其实这些担心是应该，但不需要被看重……

反正想来想去也是通不了的…… 但是不懂为何脑袋自己去担心，并且胆怯了……

在还没踏出下一步的时候，突然想退缩了……

看着人事部的朋友在企业界混得不错，

想踩过界去人事部/企业混口饭吃……

很多人强调，别为了赚钱而赚钱，

去追逐自己的理想吧，

我倒想问问自己，

理想是什么？

安居乐业？还是助人行业？

长那么大，很多时候回顾下，

自己还真的常常心想事成……

想着要读心理学，就这样进到了心理学……

想着在大学要谈恋爱，还没有进入Degree就开始了我的恋情；

想着要拿Scholarship 进 UTAR, 虽然没有给我拿完但是还是只付了RM 1k+ 就交完了我 Foundation 的学费……

想着要在21岁到比较落后的国家背包旅行，不知不觉

想着要拿First Class 毕业，竟然在最后一年从3.33 直升到3.5000*, 从 Second Upper 荣升 First Class Honor..

想着要在毕业论文，拿一个A, 让我的论文可以留在大学里（榜上有名），真的给我拿个难以置信的 Solid A..

一直以来都是无忧无虑，并没有太多想得到但得不到的东西……

中学在MP3还没有流行的年代，就入手了 MP3,

中学年代，不需向父母申请就买了 NDSL……

想要一部相机，就有了Panasonic Lumix LX-5……

如果问我想要什么礼物，坦白说，我也不懂还需要要求什么……

有那么受上帝/老天眷顾的好命，

是否应该尝试完成当初自己的一个想法 - 完成心理治疗师的学位？

Hmmm.. 继续沉思……

欢迎提供意见指点我这个迷途羔羊……

*First class honor = 3.5000-4.000, Second Upper = 3.000-3.4999

是糖果还是米

2011-12-12T18:33:00.005+08:00

是糖果还是米

二零一一年十二月十二日下午三时三十三分

文：陈汶杰

大选来临之际，政府在2012财政预算案宣布的一个大马人民援助金计划也开始派发表格让某些州属的人民申请。单是霹雳州，在数小时内就派发了10万份表格，这是否在政府的预料之内呢？在迈向2020宏愿成为先进国的当儿，马来西亚依然有那么多家庭收入低于3000令吉的家庭，在少过10年的时限里是否能够如愿于2020成为名副其实的先进国呢？

身为一个普通的小市民，心想有钱派不去领，实在对不起自己。填张表格申请并不太费事，获得了那笔500令土吉的津贴虽然并不会对每个月的生活负担有太大的帮助，但是就当作获得一封大红包好过年。大家都满怀期待的填写表格，呈交表格，等待批准。其他州属暂不计，单是霹雳州一天派出10万份表格，在此推测应该不会10万份表格都符合资格。打个比例，若经审批后有一半的人因不符合条件需求而不被批准，那么说有5万人的期待被粉碎，换来了一摞摞的失望与埋怨。政府官员甚至警戒说虚报者将被提控，一些民众也许还无缘无故惹上官非，那股怨气也许就此定夺了下届大选的人民选票流向。

政府在这个时候实施一个大马人民援助金计划，坊间传闻这是一如往常地派糖果计划。但与以往不同的是，这次的糖果不是分给每一个民众。得到的人也许会感恩，对政府的施政大竖拇指叫好；得不到的民众，眼看稽查报告呈报数百上千万的公款挥霍，一个民众却连申请区区500令吉也困难重重，会否因此而不满当朝政府呢? 一个大马人民援助金将是来届大选的糖果，还是导致偷鸡不成蚀把米的败笔，咱们惟有拭目以待了。

文摘 - 光华日报

考试不是学习的一切

2011-12-11T18:57:00.000+08:00

在背多分的制度下成长的学子们，这段时间是大家最终要的时刻。考试的成绩成了评估一个人付出多少努力的唯一指标。分数如果没有达到父母和师长们的期待，再多的努力也只会换来源源不绝的唠叨与斥责。

在这么一个环境下成长，无形中塑造了一群以成绩表上的分数为学习目标的学子。分数是否能够准确的衡量一个学生的学习成果，还是只肤浅的衡量了一个学生的背书能力，依然是一个值得争议的课题。无论如何，我们能够肯定，学子们对分数的期待，让学习充满了压力。
朋友之间常爱比较各自的准备功夫。有些学生会使用比较婉转的手法比较谁准备得多；有些则很直接的比较谁准备得少。也许比较准备得少听起来很不可思议，但是这情景确确实实发生在校园里。在心理学里，这种行为被称之为自我设限。针对还未肯定的失败，预先设置一些心理防御，来逃避失败后的谴责与挫败感。比身边的同侪准备得少，考得不理想已成理所当然，并不是自己资质不过人而只是准备不足造成的。

考试，让学习失去了它应有的乐趣。人是天生好奇心强盛的，所以在还是孩子的那段时期，我们总是有无止尽的疑问。随着年龄的增长，学习能够帮助填补与满足我们的好奇心，理应是充满乐趣的。读书是为了考取好成绩想法已经取代了学习的初衷 – 获取新知识，并且也开始慢慢地剥夺了原先应有的乐趣。

考试在当今社会是也许就是成功的指标，这是我们改变不了的事实。但是无论如何，我们依然可以时时提醒自己，考试不是学习的一切。学习，除了考试还有很多等待你去发掘的目标。千万别被无情的考试剥夺了学习原本应有的乐趣。

爱情－一辈子的学习

2011-11-26T00:44:00.002+08:00

出席了一个血缘关系算亲，

但是实际关系基本上是陌生人的婚礼……

有点莫名其妙，

在于我不认识她，她不认识我……

只因为我们有血缘关系，

所以就跟父母出席了她的婚礼……

就这样，耗掉了一个晚上……

婚礼之后的回程，

挤在Myvi后座，

听着妈和大姨谈论着身边的人的婚礼，婚姻……

有些刚要结婚，

有些则夫妻争执，

有些更妻离子散……

婚姻，真不简单……

能够维持美满婚姻的人不多……

之前好像曾经看过数据，美国离婚率有40%那么高……

能够继续恩爱的更少……

爱情，真是一辈子的学习……

在乎

2011-11-24T01:17:00.005+08:00

记得自己在论坛混的这些日子，

时不时也会进入爱情板块看看他人的情史……

发觉很多女生都在埋怨，

怎么自己身边的那个男朋友都是那么不在乎自己……

怎么那么花心，怎么那么在意事业，

就不会花点时间给她们……

所以，一直以来自己都非常小心翼翼……

尽量保持着自己认为一个好男人应该做的事情……

关心，呵护，在意……

但是在不断的自我叮咛下，

感觉自己都走过头了……

反而变成了一个把爱情看得那么重的男生……

今天在课室里，

老师问了一个问题，

爱情在我们的生活里真的那么重要吗？

一个女生回答，

对她来说是可有可无的东西……

因为除了爱情，还有友情，亲情……

所以，爱情不是很重要的……

另一个男生的回答，

也支持她的看法……

之后我的回答，

这是很主观的……

来维护一下自己的立场……

其实自己对爱情的在乎，

在很多人眼里是很不实际的，

匪夷所思的……

因为这个社会价值告诉我们，

男生要以事业为重……

在茫茫人海中能够遇见一个自己那么喜欢的人，

是一种福气……

所以我非常在乎，这一段关系……

爱情三部曲

2011-11-23T00:38:00.003+08:00

开始时，两个人是因为爱和想拥有对方而走在一起……

中场，两个人会因为习惯而感觉冷淡，缺少了当初的激情……而经历所谓爱情的考验与波折……

结束，通常都是因为其中一个人甚至两个人都累了，被考验击败了……　因为失去的那股负面情绪，互相指责告终……　

在想，为何那么害怕失去……

如果，放手对方过得比较好……

那么执著还是放手，是更正确的选择……

p/s: 有时还真的很不爽偶像剧或电影里的假浪漫，“今生你是我最爱的情人”这句话，虽然发自于一片真心也被当作是甜言蜜语般的笑话罢了…… 无奈……

那些年，这些年

2011-11-21T10:19:00.003+08:00

期待很久的电影，终于有机会看了……

只是有些许遗憾的是，

看起来好像没有机会和妳一起去看了……

看着这部电影将近两个小时的这段时间里，

脑海里闪过了好多感想，感触，想法……

当下有很多的想法但是出了电影院，

那些想法又很难再记住……

在想，是不是看多一次那些想法还是依然会出现呢？

还记得看到沈佳仪结婚的那一幕，

新人随着人海中遇见你的响起慢慢步入了礼堂，

突然好有感觉……

如果有那么一个机会步入礼堂的是自己，

可否让我选择播这么一首歌曲，

而不是听了几十年的婚礼进行曲……

如果有那么一个机会……　

一开始对这首歌曲并没有太多的感觉，

但是看了这部戏，

听到这首歌，

在哪清晰的咬字伴着优美的旋律，

脑海里出现的不是柯景腾，不是沈佳仪，

而是曾经出现在我的青春里，更伴随着我走到今天的你……　

如果有那么一个选择，

宁愿做伴随沈佳仪走进礼堂的那个男人，还是深深爱着她并给她许多青春回忆的柯景腾，

我想选前面那个身份，

因为我希望对妳来说，我已经是后者……

理想……坚持？

2011-11-18T02:53:00.002+08:00

Luffy 的梦想是成为海贼王！

Zoro 的梦想是成为最强剑士！

Sanji 的梦想是寻找一片叫All Blue的海洋！

Naruto 的梦想是成为受到大家认可的火影！

鹿丸虽然讨厌麻烦但是还是继承了阿斯马的梦想，守护着玉－木叶的孩子！

木叶忍者大多都秉持着要保护同伴的想法继续战斗！

漫画，

虽然很夸张与不切实际，

但是他们的坚持，理想，以及努力，

是我一直以来继续打拚得养分……

在思考着自己的理想……

这一生中，想要完成些什么事情……

我还蛮欣赏九把刀说过的一句话，

我想让这世界因为有了我而有了些许的不一样，就算一点点……

也因此加深了自己想加入助人行列的想法……

但同时助人行列里将面对的困境，

比如金钱上的回报肯定比较少，

在这物质为先的世界，

也许会有一些冷嘲热讽……

一向非常在意外界看法的自己，

是否能够承受得了？

跑步的省思

2011-10-18T19:57:00.003+08:00

为了Penang Bridge Marathon,

最近几天都强迫着自己去跑步……

平均一天都跑4公里，

这个距离对之前没有跑步的我来说好像并不短，

但是对时常跑步的朋友来说，

也算太短了……

大家随便跑都是6-10公里……

就算我大学的副校长差不多退休年龄也是最少跑10公里……

咳……

总是没有那股毅力去跑完10公里……

身体上也许还没有完全适应这个距离，导致腿部肌肉有点吃不消，

但是更甚的是，心理上的准备太过不足……

跑步，虽然不是我喜欢的运动，

但是他确实最简单且不具备太多的竞争的运动……

不需要任何器材，道具，

一个人也能够完成的运动……

跑步就像人生……

人生难免会出现很多我们不希望发生的事情，

虽然我自己并不太喜欢跑步，但是我明白如果因为不喜欢而却步，

那么生活里如果让我遇上一些不顺心的事情我是否能够去面对呢？

所以就算不是很喜欢跑步，

总是逼自己去跑～

跑着的时候不停提醒自己活在当下，

数息+以第三者的角度观察身体上的变化……

虽然不喜欢腿部肌肉疲惫的感觉，

但是还是尝试从不同的角度去寻找跑步独有的好……

跑步让我有更多的空间去关注自己的心灵成长，

就在这段时间，

我是确确实实与自己同在……

发觉，

其实自己一直以来都非常注重结果……

做任何事情一味看着结果，想着结果该如何，

反而忘了好好活在当下……

跑步如此，感情如此，学业如此，生活如此……

跑步，

一直希望可以达到自己设定好的目标，

希望可以快点抵达终点，

希望自己可以不需要那么累，停下来休息……

希望自己能像别人那么快，那么耐跑……

感情，

之前一直在乎着是否能够长长久久，

希望尽快天天相对，

希望两个人一起生活……

学业，

一开始进来degree希望可以以first class 毕业，

希望尽快毕业出来赚钱，

希望快点脱离Assignment 的烦恼，

希望不需要再面对考试，

希望尽快可以报读 Master...

生活，

希望可以快点长大，

希望可以快点独立，

希望可以快点成功……

但是哪方面年的成功自己也搞不清楚……

在一直对未来有着无尽的想法时，

自己往往忘记了

欣赏跑步途中的美，

对自己每吸入的每一口新鲜空气感恩，

好好体验平时没有的劳动的感觉，

享受着挥洒青春的汗水的瞬间……

也许，有天换了环境，

景色不再如此美好，

空气不再如此清新，

岁月已侵蚀了年轻的身躯……

也许，也许……

再想下去，又太专注未来了……

所以，我一直不断地提醒自己……

好好活在当下～

经历着每一刻……

享受独处

2011-10-06T22:42:00.003+08:00

之前一直很懊恼，

怎么自己的人际关系并不能像身边的人一般郊游广阔，

跟自己谈得来的数来数去都是那几个……

懊恼，

是自己很少去主动找人聊天，

还是自己并不是那么的健谈，

或者是自己一直都太过认真，

让人觉得有股距离感……

思考了很久，

依然没看到太大的改善……

有些朋友羡慕我能言善辩，

但是我觉得我不善于沟通表达……

反而羡慕会身边的人可以有那么多谈心的朋友……

反问自己为何一直都在与孤独相伴……

聊得来的朋友也许与我的生命有短暂的碰触，

但是时间一长，那个链接点不知不觉中扯开了……

依然回到一个人……

无论如何依然感恩他们的出现，

感恩他们的陪伴……

懂得和自己独处的人才能无时无刻的自在……

自己也不想再强求自己不停的去建立一段又一段的关系……

也许好好地跟着自己的孤单相处才是我想要的成长……

关了 facebook chat, 关了 msn...

沉淀……

缺氧 Too Much CO2

2011-09-22T01:15:00.003+08:00

电影简介

这是导演的第一部长片。《缺氧》主要是探讨马来西亚社会的种种现象，用影像去记录吉隆坡这个大都会里的生活。当社會的是非黑白，对与错沒有一个标准的时候，人们的生活就乱了。一位青年对自己的生活及社会越来越感到陌生，到底自己的生活荒谬还是社会比自己更荒谬。生活中发生的事情到底可以信任吗？信不信任又如何？到底社会要迎合他还是他要迎合社会? 他失业了，也更矛盾了，而另一个世界即将要到来。最后他发现，他的快乐已经不需要往外求了，他试图往自己的乐园走去。

故事大纲

故事讲述一位有为青年，担任一名政治人物的秘书，因为耿直的性格，一直忍受着社会种种压力。最后，他决定辞职。辞职后，他暂时住在友人的家。无所事事的他，每天都遇见各种奇怪的事。一天，在友人的督促下，他出去找工作，结果还是徒劳无功。最后，他选择放弃原有的生活，试图去寻找他心中的乐园。

Introduction

This is director’s first feature film. mainly concern about all sorts of appearance in Malaysia society, by using image and film language to record down the livelihood of Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia. When the matter of right and wrong doesn’t lay down a criterion, the people’s life will be out of order. The main character of the film felt that the city becoming quite strange to him, does him sink into absurdity or the society itself expose the assorted absurdities? Anything happen in daily life can be trusted? Believe in or not does matter? Is he has to cater to the need of the society ? After he has resigned, he faced up more contradiction. At the end of the day, he realised that, his gay doesn’t seek from outward, he try to find out his own new world and earthly paradise.

Synopsis

The story is about a promising young man, hold the post of secretary of a politician. Because of his honest and frank disposition, he is always under the pressure of the public. At the end, he decided to resign.After resignation, he was temporarily stayed in his friend’s house. He had nothing to do but confronted with queer matter everyday. One day, he was urged by his friend to find a new job. He went out for an interview but at the end , he made a futile trip. At last, he decided to give up his status quo, attempt to find out his own paradise on earth in mind.

第一次尝试去捧独立电影的场，

简单的制作班底，低成本的制作费，

更坚定的要表达某些意义……

其实，一开始自己是被故事大纲吸引，

在城市生活里迷失自己，是我不想看到发生在自己身上的事情……

所以，被这一部电影的故事大纲吸引住了……

虽然整部电影并没有很好的后制，

导致很多画面都是没有很顺畅的连贯性，

但是这应该就是导演想要的风格吧！

导演在放映后有和大家交流，

谈到这部是独立电影，

并非商业影片，

所以很多事情可以很随性,

导演要自然的背景声音，

要用简单的拍摄器材来制作一部电影，

这是他对自己创作的坚持……

我确实欣赏他这一点……

明知道没有太多的金钱回报，

依然坚持自己的想法，

做自己想做的事情，

这，就是理想吧？

在交流会里，自己分享了自己对影片的一些看法，

这部电影很贴近生活，看见了很多社会时事，

从个人在家无所事事的无聊，

很少回家看父母，

频频发生的自杀事件，

警察的滥权贪污，

到部长的为非作歹，

确实包含了很多很多东西……

只可惜感觉有点太多了，

反而火候炒得不够……

如果是两年前，满腔热血想为社会被欺压者打抱不平的我，

也许我会很欣赏这部电影的敢怒敢言，

如实的写了很多社会时事……

当下的自己，已经明白，埋怨是解决不了问题的……

这个国家有很多的不好，但是还是有希望的，

期待着主角在最后的时候，

从迷惘与无助中看见了什么样的人生希望，

只可惜最后一幕一个脸上写着民主二字的人，

被痛殴之后无力的躺在街上，

让我又回到了那黑暗的现实……

期待的希望都破灭了……

无论如何，

导演与制作班底的努力，

想以不一样的方式呈现出社会的黑暗一面是值得鼓励的，

毕竟在当今社会，备受保护的年轻人到了20岁左右依然对现实的状况都不太了解，

天真的思想与一股热血的冲劲，

多数都撞板收场……

让他们先对这个社会有个了解也是好事……

只希望能够多加一点希望的元素在里头，

让他们不被现实剥夺了自己对这个世界的期盼……

最后，

如果有机会，

希望大家也能多多支持独立电影……

只要你尝试去欣赏，

我相信他的启发会比你到电影院去观赏商业电影来得深刻……

祝福所有在马来西亚为理想拼搏的电影导演与制作班底……大家加油！！

他人の眼光

2011-09-20T19:22:00.004+08:00

如果可以选择，其实一个人其实没什么不好，

只是人是重社交的生物，

也许天性如此，

其实我相信每个人都是活在他人的眼光底下的……

今天穿什么？如何打扮？要成就什么？

如果这个世界已经没有人类了，

我们还会作出如此的打扮吗？

我们还会想要达到目前秉持的理想吗？

也许情景不同，一切也会改变了吧？

我坦诚的面对自己被认可的需要，

PMR 的成绩，对我来说才是好的成绩，

因为他已经是我能够做到最好的结局……

SPM 的成就，多少也是一个遗憾……

虽然自己没有要求很高，但是还是带了点失望……

很肤浅，但是对我来说，

这一张记录着分数的纸张就是一个很实际的肯定……

虽然没奢望自己成为最受欢迎的人，

但是只希望自己不成为被人讨厌的人，

因此，就和一般人一样……

从没停止过不断的向外追求着肯定……

在这个教育制度我从小到大就被训练成分数就是一切的书呆子，

上了大学，开始减少比较成绩,

大学第三年，才真正为了知识去努力……

因为发觉虽然成绩还是中上但是自己拥有的知识太少了……

人是会改变的，

也许有一天，我可以离开比较的这个体系，

在那之前，

需要让我自己更好的定位自己生存的价值……

请您拨打999

2011-09-12T15:48:00.000+08:00

请您拨打999

二零一一年九月十一日下午三时四十六分

文：陈汶杰

听着朋友叙述某个晚上在时代广场亲眼目睹一场集体抢劫与殴斗事件，模糊的记忆渐渐清晰。话说数年前，自己曾经也当过社会治安败坏下的一名受害者。身为一名受害者，虽然当时劫匪并没有对我造成了太大的损伤，只是抢走了手机与一些现款。当我与许许多多的马来西亚劫匪刀下魂相比，我确实太幸运了。身体虽然没有蒙受太大的伤害，但是那件事让自己对人性开始有点绝望，心理开始相信了人类都是阴险，自私的。

还记得当时与劫匪对峙的那一刻，身处于汽车来来往往的大路旁，心里是多么渴望某个人可以停下来，打救一个被成年人欺凌着的孩子。我相信所有曾经是受害者的人，在被抢劫的当儿，心里都有着同样的期待吧？我们热爱的港剧不停的在灌输我们，当罪案发生时，正义的男主角会勇敢地帮我们追赶劫匪，尽责的巡警会第一时间赶到案发现场制服劫匪把财务归还。这一切美好的事情，需要很多很多不可思议的巧合才会出现在现实生活里。所以当时的我们，并没有男主角的见义勇为，更没有巡警的拔刀相助，只剩下孤单且手无寸铁的我们与劫匪做些无谓的挣扎。也许有时候会有路人经过，但是马来西亚里有太多非常称职的路人，目睹一切也依然无动于衷，继续朝他们的目的地前进。仿佛这一切发生在眼前的都是假象，那一声救命的呐喊依然穿透不过挂在耳边的隔音耳机。这，就是我们现实的社会。城市人在快速的发展步伐里，就这样渐渐的被紧绷的生活夺走了从小被灌输的助人精神。

当然，我们并不能妄自下定论说所有人都想袖手旁观的。在这么一个情况，大部分的路人也是被恐惧笼罩着，想尽快的逃离这让人害怕的环境。耳边响起的呐喊声，非但没有燃起路人挺身而出的勇气，反而加深了大家对整件事情的恐惧。就算凑足了所需要的勇气，手无寸铁的路人依然对着猖狂的匪徒根本就起不了任何恐吓作用。也许还会因为那突然飙升的勇气，最后躺在医院的不是受害者而是勇字当头的路人甲。在种种反复考量之下，大家唯有期待更有能力的人去帮助受害者，自己继续当个无名的路人，安全到家就是福。只可惜，社会心理学其中一个显著的研究显示，当所有在场的人都期待别人来给予协助时，就会产生了旁观者效应，大家期待的英雄也正在期待着他希望看见的英雄。虽然自己有能力也觉得在场那么多人，一定有人会给予协助。最后受害者唯有听天由命，看着这些冷酷的面孔，对这个社会、人心更加地绝望。

民众不停埋怨警方的怠慢，无能；警方却回应，民众对防止罪案并没有给予应有的合作。到底，责任应该被归咎在哪一方的身上呢？与其评论他人的是与非，我想在此提出一个大胆的建议给正在阅读此文章的您。如果，那么巧合让你碰上了一场劫案或其他犯罪活动，请您伸出援手。您不需要像电视剧里的男主角舍命与劫匪搏斗，您只需要打破旁观者效应。请您主动拨打999，就那么简单。这么一通电话，对受害者来说已经非常足够了。至少在冷酷的人群里，有个人愿意为他拨打这通救命的电话。我想您这么做，已经尽了您身为一名好公民责任。

文摘：光华日报 - 言论

Cambodia Trip 1

2011-09-11T23:25:00.006+08:00

I'm wondering.. With the increase of the number of photos in my computer...

What I should do with them??

After squeezing my brain for few minutes, I think it will be a good idea to share it here whenever I'm free...

After the post about the rocks I took in Cambodia, I think I can try to tell some story with the photos I have in my laptop.. ^^

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

17th May 2011, 11pm

We on board the bus heading towards LCCT. Trying to grab some sleep in the bus but failed. Maybe due to this was the first time took flight to oversea without family members and first time went out for a backpack trip with friends. Felt so gratitude for my family in being so supportive and gave me a chance to go out and explore in other country. Besides, started from secondary I was always hope that by 21 years old, I could have a backpack trip and finally I'm on my way to the airport for the trip.

18th May 2011, 3am

As stated in the itinerary, our flight will depart on 7.05am. When we printed out our boarding pass, it changed to 6.45am. But it's not a big deal, since we reached there around 3am. LCCT was crowded as usual. Went to 24 hrs Mcdonald and found some seat and waiting for the boarding call.

My bag represent me. ^^

18th May 2011, 6am

None of us have much experience in how to check in to Air Asia's flight. Web check-in at home but did not print out the boarding pass. How silly are us (or to be precise it was my idea). The previous time which also is the only time I took flight from Penang to KL was using mobile check in so I have the bar code in my phone. I forgot I was using Mobile but not web check in so I thought put the web generated boarding pass in phone can get another boarding pass. Anyway, since we have a lot of time at LCCT, once the check in counter opened we went there and checked in manually again. Then we went for breakfast before on board the plane.

18th May 2011, 6.30am

Because of that breakfast, we were late for the plane. When we were checking in at the custom, We heard our name being called in the announcement. Waoh.. Everyone was so nervous and rushed as fast as possible to the plane.

Run!!Run!!Run!!

The walkway to the plane in LCCT is sooooooooooo long and it really took a long time for us to reach the plane. Then while everyone was rushing, I still grab my camera and took photo of my friends on board the plane.

Tadah!!

But right after I press my shuttle, I was scolded by one of the staff there. hahaha.. The whole plane was waiting for few of us and I still so relax and took photo at there. Okay, I admit I'm wrong.. Sorry~~

~To be continue~

The bystander effect

2011-09-07T01:53:00.009+08:00

Today would like to share something related with psychology - The bystander effect

Bystander effects happened when there are many bystander observe the emergency , and none of them lend a hand to the one who are in need. Hmmm, it looks like the people in the video are cruel, inhuman and emotionless. But when it happened on our daily life, I think the majority of us will still be one of the bystander just like what has been tested by the researcher in the video.

Why is it that people are less likely to help when others are present? All the bystanders are going through a five steps of decision making...

1) Noticing an events

Of cause, no people can consider to give a hand if they not even notice the events. Sometimes, people are in rush and could not attend to all the incident happens around us. Some emergency is not so obvious until able to get the attention from the surroundings immediately. Thus, noticing an events is the first stage for the bystanders to decide whether they want to help.

2) Interpret the event as an emergency

After noticing the event, the bystander will interpret the event as an usual event or it is an emergency. Most of the time people will refer to the response of the people around them in interpreting the situation is an emergency or not. This is because in an crisis situation, people will tend to seek information from the people around. The information can be as simple as how they react to the situation - a phenomenon called the Informational Social Influence. When they don't see anyone giving help to the people in need, there comes the pluralistic ignorance whereby people think that everyone else is interpreting the situation in the same and correct way as they does, when in fact they are not.

3) Assume responsibility

When the number of bystander increase, the responsibility held by each of the bystander decrease. They assume that someone among them will take the responsibility and give help to the person. When everyone also thinking in the same way, there goes diffusion of responsibility. and at the end, everyone still remain as a bystanders.

4) Know appropriate form of assistance

Of cause, when a person decided to help in the emergency. He need to know how capable he is in providing assistance. Impossible we expect everyone to help a drowning person when he himself do not know how to swim. It might lead to another form of disaster. Thus, having the knowledge and know the methods to help is one of the important factors in making the decision to be a bystander or a helper. Of cause, the very basic help we can made is making a phone call to the emergency line.

5) Implement decision

Lastly, sometimes we have the knowledge to help but still we will reconsider whether we want to give the help. For example, everyone have a phone but when incident happen, not everyone willing to take out the phone and call the authority. This is obvious especially in Malaysian Chinese because many of us think that, calling the police might spend a lot of our time in police station. So, we usually will expect someone who have more free time compare to us to take this responsibility. At the end, we decided not to provide the help even just making a call because we think that the cost of trying to help is larger than the rewards we get from there.

This 5 stages help to explain the behavior of most of the human beings when they meet an emergency situation. It is really sad to see majority of the people are so ignorant to their counterpart from the same species.

Anyhow, you can help to make a difference by breaker this bystander effects just as simple as making a phone call to the emergency line when you see some emergency situation. =)

Reference : Aronson, E., Wilson, T. D., & Akert, R. M. (2010). Social Psychology. New Jersey: Pearson Education.

石头的坚持

2011-09-07T01:08:00.005+08:00

石头，没有选择……

当雕刻师傅一开始捶下第一刀，

就如此开始了这千年不朽的微笑……

一开始，也许有人赞叹雕工的细腻……

十年过去了，人们开始习以为常……

百年千年后，人们又开始欣赏当初的美……

脆弱的石头，

经不起风雨的摧残……

溃散成一堆毫无条理，

被人遗弃的石堆……

曾经的辉煌，

也只能继续遗留在先人的脑里，

随着身体的死去，

记忆也随之消失……

顽强的石头，

努力地坚持……

屹立不倒的继续扮演他们的角色……

墙壁装饰的做了千年的墙壁……

屋顶设计的当了千年的屋顶……

坚持，也许是成功的唯一途径……

石头万万没想到自己也有被赏识的那么一天……

只因当初雕刻师傅为他做的改造，

加上自己不断坚持了千年的恒心……

如今它获取了世人的赞颂……

理想是什么？

2011-09-05T23:35:00.003+08:00

理想是什么？

活在这个年代，我真的有点摸不着头脑……

父亲的那个年代，理想就是有个职业，能够养活一家人，给予三餐温饱……

到了我这个年代，如果我说我的理想是三餐温饱，对很多人来说这等于没有理想……
我想我自己也不会看得起拥有这么一个简单理想的自己……

幼稚园到大学，

都是随着政府的规定，

按部就班的往上爬……

考完SPM就上大学预备班，上完预备班就上学士班……

现在学士班要毕业了，才来开始申思，

我的理想是什么？

理想在我的诠释来说，

理想不是有那所谓朝一日坐在家里发霉也有挥霍不完的金钱，

理想对我来说是不需要太多的回报也愿意继续去做的一件事情……

比如，

九把刀，周杰伦，阿牛的理想 - 自己做导演拍一部电影……

他们都做到了，

他们并不太理会这部电影的回酬有多高，

只是要完成自己当初的哪一个理想……

理想不是有收集三代都吃不完的财富,

只要自己活着或死去时家人都能够自力更生，

比留下吃不完的财富还要重要……

我很清楚制造财富不是我人生最终目标……

我的理想是什么？

我自己也并不太清楚……

看来是时候问问自己，

如果自己将要死去，自己想要做些什么东西？

Obsession on Clinical Psychologist

2011-09-05T19:06:00.005+08:00

Recently I was wondering..
What is the factors that makes me so obsessed with Clinical Psychologist?

After gaining more exposure on the helper field (Social Work, Counselor, Clinical Psych, etc),

I still insist to venture into clinical psychologist field.

Eventhough, I found that counselor's job is somehow similar with the clinical psychologist,

but my mindset still insist to go to Clinical Psychologist and not so willing to build the career in counselling..

After spend some time in searching the factors that makes me obsessed with Clinical Psychologist, I get few of the factors that let me understand better on my obsession.

1) Dream

Since secondary school, I've decided that I wanna be a clinical psychologist. That is why I am now studying Psychology in UTAR. Perhaps, I should admit I was lacking preparation and understanding on the qualification for the course at that time. Now, I'm graduating soon and I was struggling. Continue chasing after the dream, or let it remain as an un-achievable dream.

2) Professional Title of the Clinical Psychologist

I personally think that, the competitive admission to the course makes this title much more valuable than counselor. I don't know how the public view on this, but at least for me, I see myself achieve a higher achievement by graduating in Clinical Psychology than graduating in Master in Counselling. This helps to build up my self-esteem I guess.

3) I do not like things in abstract

Counseling is something abstract.. There's nothing such as what you MUST respond when the client throw you a question. Sometimes, the communication can be very abstract, you cannot diagnose the problem and tell the client how severe he is. Things are different in Clinical Psychology, there's assessment test to diagnose the client on the severity or types of the mental health issues he is having. Somemore, there is a guidelines in how to assess to these symptoms.

4) Payment

Many people told me that counselling is a profession where you don't expect high on the income you will get. Even you work for 10 years, other people who are as experienced as you in other field might earn a lot more when compare to you in the counselling field. This sounds scary for me. >.< It's not hard to understand the challenges faced by the counselor in Malaysia because the population of the society still having stigma on meeting up a counselor. I think things is about the same in clinical psychology field, but at least I believe with the limited number of graduate joined into the workforce each year would help to increase the payment that I'll receive in future. Besides, private hospital accept clinical psychologist to provide their service there together with a psychiatrist. According to what I know, the major job scope of a counselor is not directly deal with mental health patient, so counselor seldom will be taken by private hospital in Malaysia.

5) Market needs

Up to today, there's only 108+/- clinical psychologist around Malaysia. Even though there is no official board that give recognition to these people but the actual amount of clinical psychologist in practice I think is much lesser than this. From my experience, I met with people who have a family member suffering with mental illness, they are very helpless and do not know where to seek help. Getting medication from the hospital is crucial but besides than medication, it is hard to get psychotherapy or counselling services for the mental health patient. Some of them even get terminated from the counselling session without any explanation from the hospital. I hope that by studying in this course might help to contribute back to the society and help those who are in needs.

6) Helping People while working

Lastly, I don't really enjoy the life of working like a machines. Go to work, back from work, get the paycheck every months. I think I'll enjoy my work more when I see myself contributing back to the societies by helping those who are in need. Besides than can help myself to survive in this competitive world, I can help others as well. I think that's what I hope I can accomplish. I wish to leave some impact on other's life, even just a minor one is still better than none. At least, I can feel my life is worth living in this way.

放纵后的心得

2011-09-03T00:36:00.003+08:00

几天的放纵，让我忘记了日子，忘记了考试……

突然，要把心理的那匹野马扯住，

让他回到轨道……

挣扎……

但是为了前途，为了自己选择的这条路，

我还是很享受着学习心理学的这个过程……

浪费了一年多两年，浑浑噩噩的过日子，

现在想要趁着仅有的日子，

好好珍惜在学习的这条路……

迟些就要出来为自力更生，

心理有着无比的担忧，

但是岁月还是随着他自己的步伐，

鞭笞着我往前进……

无奈…… 彷徨……

一起群殴劫案

2011-08-28T00:07:00.004+08:00

听说了一起抢劫案，路人的冷漠显示了社会的冷酷……

再次强化了我对人性的黑暗一面的看法……

受害者很无助，应该很心痛这个社会的冷酷，

施害者很猖狂，很无法无天……

身边好多好多的路人……

一些成群结队，一些单独行走……

但是没人停下脚步……

但是我相信路人与受害者同样承受着心里的恐惧，

不懂自己能够如何施与援手，

压力，恐惧，担忧让大家却步，

尽量保持事不关己的姿态，

匆匆离开现场……

明天又恢复平凡的一天……

如果受害者平安存活下来，

我在想，

受害者经过了这样的一件事情，

心理会产生什么样的变化？

对这个社会的绝望会否会演变成反社会主义的思想，

然后再对他人施暴，施害来获取一个平衡……

这么一个演变，对一个人来说，太残酷了……

衷心的祝福今天的受害者，

衷心地期望社会会开始有些改变，

衷心地希望大家平安……

Dealing with Negative Emotions

2011-08-26T17:28:00.009+08:00

Stifling anger and sulking around the house, hoping someone will read our mind, doesn't seem to be a good solution, and neither are brooding and ruminating by ourselves, which just prolong and intensify the anger. So, what shall we supposed to do?

Active Enabling

Few of the familiar ways of actively enabling the negative emotions to fade away are Taking Deep Breath or engaging in distracting activities to shift our attention from the stimulant of our emotions is one of the common way people use to deal with their negative emotions. Going out jogging, clubbing, gaming or maybe watching some movie, helps to temporarily bring us away from the negative emotions. There's nothing such as the best way, so just do it in your own way.

Anyhow, must always be reminded that, dissipating negative emotions is not always best for you as an individual or for your relationship with the people around. Sometimes it might be so intense until you feel without expressing it you might get exploded. At this time, you may expressed it in a nonviolent and nondemanding way.

Effective Communication

Making a clear,calm, and simple statement indicating that you are feeling angry and describing, nonjudgementally, precisely what your friend or spouse did to bring about those feelings. Since the statement is made in a clear, open, nonpunitive manner, greater mutual understanding and a strengthening of the relationship can results. This seems like very simple yet it is proven that this way of giving feedback have more beneficial effects than shouting, name-calling, throwing dishes or suffering in silence as you grin and bear it, on the other.

Write a Reflective Journal

Write down your feelings in a journal. You just need to write your deepest thoughts and feelings about the event that distressed you. It is advised to continue to write for 20 minutes a day for a few days, and then reread what you have written. Sometimes, we never realize the unwanted emotion has faded away and we are keep holding on with a thoughts that we must still continue to avoid the negative feelings. Thus, writing a reflective journal will help us to become more aware of the emotions.

Thank you for the time to finish this lengthy article. Hope it helps for you.

Reference : Aronson, E., Wilson, T. D., & Akert, R. M. (2010). Social Psychology. New Jersey: Pearson Education.

热血的青春

2011-08-25T01:15:00.002+08:00

不看这个clip, 我还差点忘记了自己曾经做过和接受过最浪漫的事情是什么？你记得吗？

听刀大说，

做过最浪漫的事，就是拍了这部电影，给17岁的自己，给17岁自己曾经喜欢的那个沈佳仪……

妈呀，如果我是沈佳仪我被这那么浪漫的浪漫搞到疯掉……

看着那么精彩的青春回忆，正值青春期的自己，觉得好像怎么生活那么单调啊！

也许是时候更加多留意生活里的小细节，感恩，惜福……

从平凡中找到当中的不平凡，

这才会显得这段回忆特别珍贵……

每个人都青春过，每个人都有这么一段回忆，

是苦是甜，都有他存在的价值，

因为曾经的经历，

才会有今天的成长……

静下心来，好好回忆自己的青春吧！！

如果还是觉得空荡荡的，

看来时候为自己的生命填补一些色彩……

你是生命的主人，颜色由你来定……

谨记，

人生不求完美，只需要真诚……

用心去完成每件事情，他们都有他们发生与存在的价值……

p/s: Love Life

对自己的facebook status，抱着什么期待？

2011-08-24T21:36:00.002+08:00

兜兜转转，感觉还是这里比较平静……

也许是时候回来这里了……

当面子书开始越加越多人，

为了照顾形象，好久没有随便用面子书谩骂了……

10公里后的感触

2011-07-30T01:52:00.003+08:00

要超越他人，应该跟随自己的步伐，了解自己的极限…不是一味盲目的追随，迷失了自己…

Recent updates

2011-07-02T02:09:00.003+08:00

It has been quiet some times I do not update my blogs.

Kinda lazy in writing recently..

Especially the period when I was working...

When back to students' life,

I found that there's a big difference between study and working life...

I can sleep as long as I want and skip the class that I do not feel like attending...

Anyhow, after came back from internship I started to appreciate everything that makes me a student.

Including attending a class and be on time for the class.

I was reading PS I Love you in the pass two weeks and finally I finish it and I guess this is the first time I finish up a book borrowed from library without renew the loan.

*Proud*

There's a paragraph in the last chapter which I found meaningful and wish to share with all of you here.

"Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling. A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you forever, no matter what. They say that nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer in the fact that for some, love lives on even after we're gone."
— Cecelia Ahern (P.S. I Love You)

Wish the world is nourished with love and everyone found their love soon.

P.S. I love you.

指责与自责

2011-05-15T13:14:00.001+08:00

指责与自责

二零一一年五月十四日下午三时二十一分

文：陈汶杰

在一个多元种族的国家，政治炒作所需的题材是源源不绝的。在马来西亚，不论大型或小型的选举一过，大家都开始把矛头指向敌对阵营。反对党指执政党贿选，操纵选举；执政党指反对党欺骗选民，企图制造骚乱。自独立以来经过了那么多的选举，多数的攻击性言论都是冷菜翻炒后就不了了之。砂州这一役，出现了一个新鲜的指责，行动党成功蒙骗了整个砂州的华裔选民，导致他们现在在州议会里丧失了华裔代表。有者更指行动党打着多元种族政党的旗号，但其实是华基政党，以华治华分裂国民是他们的不良企图。所谓无风不起浪，行动党成功从马华与人联党手中赢取了不少华裔选票这个事实，让国阵里代表华人的政党开始担心自己是否会走向民政党需靠关系入阁的后尘。按奈不住的焦躁，纷纷化成了各式各样的言论用于指责，怪罪于华社，怪罪于反对党等等。选后如雷灌耳的言论里，怎么就好像少了自我检讨与反省的言论呢？

在这50多年来，马华民政等国阵成员党为人民的付出当然是功不可没了。所以很多时候他们都会觉得人民不仅不惜福，还处处为难他们。民政党的陈莲花说人民寻求帮助时就会找执政党的代表，但是投票时把票投给反对党，对他们这一群含辛茹苦为大众服务的议员来说很不公平。但从民众的角度来想，政府每年的稽查师报告出炉只是纯粹让民众大开眼界，并没有采取任何的行动。此外，使用国家资产赞助一个国民成为太空旅客等等的白象计划，多不胜数，这一切对国民来说公平吗？人民的纳税钱都花在不切实际的白象计划以及挥霍无度的政府部门，而人民所面对的通货膨胀与没完没了的油价上涨，政府却只能爱莫能助。除此之外，下滑的世界大专排名，下滑的全球新闻自由排名，依然高居不下的全球贪污排名指数等等，让人民看了更是无奈啊！

身为一名领袖，要认错也许是件苦差，话说三国演义里描述的曹操亦如此，他知错，改错，就是不认错。咱们政府的不认错这点倒是学得有摸有样，知错与改错就有待加强了。当然并非一支竹竿打翻一艘船，只是当中的害群之马太过显眼了。嘴上说要打击贪污，一年上钩的大鱼塞牙缝都不足；嘴上说一个大马，政府控制的报章里却不时出现煽动各族情绪的言论。这一切一切痛心的事都被民众看在眼里，但哑子吃黄连，唯有在大选时才能把心里的苦都发泄在选票上。要夺回民心，与其指责还不如自责啊！指责利用推卸责任，填补心里的委屈，但是到头来还是原地踏步；自责其实并非自暴自弃，而是力求上进。知错并改错者，方为明君啊！

文摘光华日报

人都是犯贱的

2011-04-18T00:22:00.004+08:00

倾城美女配富老，绝顶好男在吃草……

总是看到好多痴情男女被自己的对象伤了一次又一次，

但是还是依然愿意留守在对方的身边……

总是抱着雨后一定会有彩虹的奢望，希望自己能被多爱一点……

事实总是难以如愿……

感情总是有理不完的烦恼，

空窗期担心自己孤独终老；

追求时害怕自己榜上无名；

拍拖时祈求我俩爱火莫熄；

结婚时希望对方乖乖就好；

年老时比较两人谁先病倒。

绝顶好男儿和绝顶好女人难寻，更难相遇……

一些好男人/女人不懂的表现，沉淀在人潮里……

一些好男人/女人被爱人捆绑，坚信雨后会有彩虹，

但是彩虹总是鲜少现于眼前……

沉淀的沉淀，捆绑的捆绑，

所剩的也是寥寥无几……

在全球六十亿人口里要相遇并相爱，

三个字形容，

非常难！！

如果有一天有幸预见，请务必好好珍惜这一个全世界垂涎的好货色……

不需要质疑，

镜子中的自己就是最有可能是下一个绝顶好男/好女的最佳人选……

只要你愿意……

在这18年里，我能做到什么东西呢？

2011-04-12T20:22:00.003+08:00

如果人生七十古来稀，那么我应该会有60岁的寿命。

如果我拥有60岁的寿命，我今年已经21岁，也就是说我剩39年。

如果我用一半的时间来休息，睡觉，也就是说我剩18年。

有人说，人生在世是为了在这个地球上留下一个脚印。

在这18年里，我能做到什么东西呢？

曾经告诉自己，

绝对不可忍命，命运掌握在自己手里。

但是我很累……很累……

18年的时间，

要从零开始，一分一秒都需要用来做出有意义的事太困难。

我不懂我能留下什么脚印，

感觉连在泥土里踩下深刻的脚印都觉得有心无力……

曾经的梦想，

被冷酷的命运摧毁，破碎……

想过做出改变，

但是这条路会非常坎坷，

希望是改变的开始，

但是我并没有看到任何希望……

突然就迷失在人生中……

18年里需要做些什么……

迷途羔羊何时方知返……

愚人节惊喜

2011-04-04T23:08:00.005+08:00

有时候就是很奇妙,

无端端的上报了...

说也不信, 就在檀香吃午餐的时候,

偷偷用手机上网偷看美女的FB...

就这样在我起身要去洗盘的时候,

两位姐姐突然叫住我,

问我是不是在上网..

我整个人傻去...

原来有两个人在注意我,

还好我不是上成人网站...

之后就给他们做了一个简短的访问..

隔几天也就是四月一号就上报了..

愚人节惊喜啊!!!

有几个人跑来告诉我：“你上报了。。”

我就想：“还好吧，不过是在路人甲乙丙丁的其中一个。。总有一天，我不再是路人甲乙丙丁了再来高兴也不迟。。但是话说回来，有这个机会还是不错嘛！！”

难道这就是所谓的幸运？

是时候买一买字了，

也许在离开爱心福利中心前可以得到一点津贴。。

哈哈哈哈哈！！！

Saturday Afternoon - The Coffee Bean

2011-04-02T17:40:00.003+08:00

The first not working Saturday afternoon I spend in Penang after my internship start since January.

I got no idea how I made it after three months working at Penang but I just spending the first not working Saturday afternoon in Penang. LOL!!

I was suspecting whether myself is a workaholic because i rather stay in office for the whole day because besides than spending time in office I got no idea where I can go.

After three months of working, I guess is time to give some quality weekend for myself..

No more seats available in both Starbucks in Queensbay Mall..

End up sitting in The Coffee Beans..

With an Ice Blended Mocha..

Which is a big Fail for me..

Only the first sip got some ice blended feel ... If I didn't remember wrongly..

The rest of it is just a ice Mocha... Or should say..
Milk Shake with extra Sugar..

No wonder people will take a cup of sky juice when they are drinking coffee here...

Won't visit again unless I got no other choices..

First time bring my laptop out with me when sitting in the coffee shop to pass my time...

Not very productive because I planned to do my reports here today..

and at the end I was just wandering around the internet...

SS photo... Ignore this if it makes you feel uncomfortable..

不能改变社会，但能关心身边人

2011-04-01T09:36:00.004+08:00

不能改变社会，但能关心身边人

二零一一年三月二十七日下午二时四十八分

文：陈汶杰

生活在这一个年代，我们避免不了生活上的压力。所谓创业难，守业更难。要在父辈已经开创的江山里，达到更高的成就，我们所面对的压力也相应地提高。成功的指标就是比爸爸更成功，一些比不上爸爸成就的人都不被称之为成功了。

举个例子：爸爸是贫苦出生，能够三餐温饱已经非常知足了，但是哪个父母不望子成龙的呢? 三餐温饱已经不是孩子应有的成功指标，而是住洋房、吃山珍海味、驾大房车等等。如果孩子成功达到这些期盼了，孙子承受的压力也就更大了。一出世，家人的期盼他能继承家业，过得比现在的他们好。但是说到底，这是家人的期盼，并不是孩子自己的选择。

活在期盼下难快乐

活在别人的期盼下长大，如果是你，你会快乐吗? 也许有人会辩驳说，当初自己也是这样被鞭笞出来才有今天的成就。但是我们大家都明白，每一个人都是独一无二，都是特别的。用自己的经验和价值套在别人身上，对别人来说这会是一种负担。因为这一个负担所带来的压力，我们需要一个方式去宣泄。选择对了，问题也许因此迎刃而解；选择错了、家庭暴力、虐待小动物，自杀或自残等等社会问题就出现了。

社会问题的出现，让很多人都有感叹说社会生病了吗？追根究底，社会是由很多不同阶级的家庭与各式各样的人所形成的。所以如果说社会病了，其实是我们造成的。问题的出现并不代表世界末日，这也可以是一个很正面的情况。问题出现了，我们知道我们是时候做出一些改变了。远的不说，夸张的也不说，不切实际的更不说，我们就从自己说起。

想用时间冲淡一切

很多时候我们不懂得如何帮助面对生活低潮的朋友与家人，我们选择逃避，使用时间能冲淡一切来逃避问题的根源。其实和在生活低潮的朋友聊聊他所面对的问题，并不代表我们一定要帮助他们解决问题。我们可以让他们有一个宣泄的管道，让他们知道有个朋友在他们身边支持他们，关心他们。毕竟不是每一个生活上遇到的问题我们都能代他们去解决，比如感情的创伤，大笔的财务问题等等。问题发生了，总需要去面对，所以如果能够和他们谈谈他们所需面对的问题，然后给予陪伴与鼓励，那你已经做得不错了。

很多时候我们聆听别人的问题时，习惯性地就想帮他们解决他们面对的问题，所以要时时提醒自己，你并不是超人，但是你可以是一个良伴。能够帮到的，就尽力去做，不能的就陪陪他们，告诉他们你对他们的关心，这已经非常足够了。这个社会出现的种种毛病，会因为你小小的努力而有了大大的改变。

文摘光华日报异言堂

男生和女生的分别

2011-03-28T01:05:00.001+08:00

男生和女生的分别,除了大家所清楚地生理上的差别之外,心理上也有着很大的差别。看待感情的方式更是有一段距离。

男人没有女人那么感性, 很多时候不是男人要耍酷，而不让自己掉泪。而是社会的价值与从小被灌输的一种观念就是男儿有泪不轻弹。从小到大的教育与社会观点，导致很多成年男人都很自然的压抑自己的情绪。男人都很少和朋友在喝茶聊天时提到自己的内心感受，反之女人却在与朋友的交谈中很容易就会提起自己的感受了。因为男人自己很少讨论感受，当女人告诉他们她的感受时，他们很多时候都不懂得如何反应。另外，自己从小到大都是把感受收在自己心理，所以当女人向他们谈起她的感受时，他们很容易不耐烦，并觉得整天哭哭啼啼，埋怨这埋怨那，又不能帮助到什么。但是在女人心理，他们想要的只是一个聆听者，不需要给与帮助，只给与他们一点时间，专注的聆听他们想与你分享的故事与感受。

男人千万不要把这是我的天性当借口，毕竟人是求上进的，时时提醒自己，我要好好听她说的话，不需要批判，不需要意见，就专注的聆听，并尝试了解她的感受然后让她知道你了解了。

女人千万不要一直埋怨男人的不谅解。如果可以，就找个时间，心平气和地告诉他，你需要一个聆听者，问他的意见看他方便让一些时间出来给你，让你分享一下你现在的感受吗？

男人比女人更偏向性欲上的满足，这是不偏不倚的事实。男人与男人的生活圈子，时常都会出现一些黄色笑话，对他们来说这些都只是很平常的一些笑话。但在女人的观点，会觉得他们很下贱，无聊。有人说，男人频密的性需求，是天生的。在众多动物里，主要都是雄性动物采取主动吸引雌性动物来进行交配以达到传宗接代的宗旨。也有人说，男人的性需求，是为了顾及他们在社交圈子里的面子与地位。有些朋友听到男的和某个女孩拍拖了几年但是还是“青头仔”（还未发生性关系），会给与一种略带轻视与嘲笑的语气与眼神，提问：“真的没有吗？我不信咯！”， “你对不对的，酱久了还不上，等下你后悔哦！” 等等等等。所以很多男人就把性关系的重要性提高了，觉得如果有了性关系，那个女生才是真正的接受了他。有一位心理学家（Michael Lilibrigde)说，男人通过性关系寻求女方爱的肯定，有了性就等于那女方爱他,之后他就会付出他的爱给那女人。女人则有了爱，才会与那个男生发生性关系。

爱，不是口头上说说罢了。刚才提到的爱，是心灵上的交流，互相分享生活上遇到的事务，享受在一起的时光等等等等。男生与女生的分别在于两者主要的需要是刚好相反的。女人需要爱，才需要性；男人需要性，才需要爱。多数男人除了性，爱也是生命中的一个重要元素，只是因为爱很难诠释，所以不被察觉罢了。每一段感情，除了有爱，还是会碰及性，所以性也是人自然的需要，只是被社会与大众负面看法包裹着罢了。当然我并不是鼓吹性开放，只是想让大家知道，性并不是万恶根源，只要在适当的时候，性也可以是被大家所接受的。如果双方都还没有做好适当的准备，还是先避一避这一个活动吧。男人会提出性要求，接受或拒绝，就看女人了。女人绝对有权利拒绝。虽然说男人有性后爱，但是大家都懂性并不代表爱，所以没有性也并不代表不爱。这就要看双方如何协调与尊重了。尊重也是爱的一种表现，懂得互相尊重的爱，才会走得更长久更遥远。

报国家恩

2011-03-23T22:17:00.002+08:00

第一次讲课，紧张是没有。。。

但是我还真的看小了中学生。。。

原来他们都很回问问题。。这对我来说是好事啦。。

他们在听课耶。。

第一次的关系，

有人旁听之后给我的意见是，

眼神交流可以进步，传达的讯息方面可以更进步。。

其实我都认同，

这一个体验让我有小小的感想，毕业后如果找不到工作我去当老师好了。。

对我来说，应该可以胜任，

只是需要点时间来给我调整。

毕竟我不是教育系，但是当老师给我的好处是我能够用这个机会好好的去训练演讲技巧。。

当然，老师对我来说并不是最终目标。。

我只是觉得，这份工作蛮有挑战的。

如果申请不到工作，当独中老师就好。

政府的要bond, 所以还是算了。。

这一堂课给我的感觉是，大家都很讨厌友族同胞，

我想我们国家的教育制度有问题，还有政治人物炒作太离谱了。。

导致大家现在都心里不平横。。

Hmmm...

当老师的前一晚..

2011-03-22T23:33:00.002+08:00

15岁时, 觉得自己很成熟..

看着镜子中的自己,觉得自己和成年人根本没什么两样...

在这寒冷的夜晚, 准备着明天半小时的教案..

思考着15岁的学生们,是否能接受我想表达给他们的这一切咨询..

会否太过简单,导致没有什么兴趣听课..

如果增加资料,会否太过复杂..

在半小时里,吸收不到..

第一次出师, 紧张还能管理得来,

毕竟对着马来西亚的学生, 大家都是乖乖不会反驳的..

就算在大学里也是一样..

希望第一堂课, 能够顺利表达我想传达的讯息..

我爱我国家- 马来西亚..

当准备接这差事时,还蛮挣扎的..

毕竟我对这个国家有太多的抱怨..

也许不是国家而是政治吧!!

看了资料和教材,

发觉其实还蛮不错,有足够空间让我去发挥..

愿明天一切顺利...

千夫所指

2011-03-20T21:33:00.003+08:00

因为沉默，导致处于千夫指状态。。

对外，我有我沉默的理由。。

对内，我有我反感的原因。。

两极对撞，重伤的唯有我自己。。

话说人世间少了一个东西，人们就多一份清静，

也许没有宗教，

所有人信仰科学。。

世界会更美好。。

p/s: 这只是妄想，因为我会被人骂死。。

结束

2011-03-20T01:11:00.002+08:00

心理所思，笔墨难绘；

男儿心事，知音难寻；

独唱情歌，无人问津；

曲终人散，独守空寂。

结束

渴望关怀

2011-03-19T00:49:00.003+08:00

最近发觉自己其实也很渴望关怀。。

每每读着冯以量对待临终病患，眼泪都失控的落下。

虽然外表很坚强，但是害怕寂寞。。

不知觉的总是会做了一些吸引别人注意力的东西，

然后等待别人给于的关心。

也许该学习告别如此小孩子气的行为，

是时候长大了。。

需要习惯一个人的生活，

熟语说世界上没有人是为他人而活的。。

只能在这个环境中享受一个人的寂寞。。

虽然寂寞给人的感觉多数是苦，

但是只要愿意，我相信还是可以享受的。。

也许需要的，只是一点的时间。

觀照生命本質無不是緣起緣生緣落緣滅

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2011-03-11T23:43:00.006+08:00

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爱情，没有不劳而获

2011-03-08T23:17:00.003+08:00

爱情，没有不劳而获。。

很多时候问人说，你理想的男女朋友应该是怎样的。。

大家都会说，温柔体贴对我好等等。。

也许长得英俊潇洒，苗条美丽的帅哥美女不难碰上对他们献殷勤的人，

但是这些殷勤难道无端端从天上掉下来的吗？

对方很可能是冲着他们的长相才来对他们好。。

当人老珠黄了，爱情是否还能维持是一个未知数。。

反而只要肯用真心诚意地去爱一个人，

要找到一个爱自己的人并不难。。

当然维持这段情是两方面需要一起下功夫的。。

一段海枯石烂的爱情，

并不是只存在于童话故事。。

是否能不断地努力经营，50年，60年，70年。。

问问自己，你有这样的耐性不停的爱下去吗？

p/s:

在情人相处中不时不能有疼惜，但是那总该是水到沟成的自然，而不是尔虞我诈的利用。(曾昭旭-解情书）

孩子的归宿感

2011-02-25T23:37:00.001+08:00

孩子为什么不愿意上学；孩子为什么一直要我在身边，离开一下也不行；孩子为什么比较亲婆婆而不亲我；孩子为什么那么外向不喜欢回家；为什么？为什么？为什么?

生活里时常听见身边的为人父母者时常都会有这一些疑问，其实答案就只有三个字 – 归宿感。

为什么我们会想家，因为家给了我们温暖，是我们从小到大的一个避风港。当然不是每一个人都那么认为。但是应该有一个地方，会让我们觉得舒服，在那里的时光都是很安全的，享受的。也许并不明显，但是我相信大多数人都会有一个自己喜欢待在那的地方。小孩子在很小的时候就已经建立起一份对某个地方，某个人的信任与归宿感。这就是为什么当他们去到学校，幼儿园时会哭会闹。每个人的性格都是不一样的，所以在幼儿园，小学我们会看到不是每一个学生都哭闹。谁喜欢从一个倍受保护的环境，去到一个充满规条与充满陌生人的环境。

归宿感如何产生呢？除了人生存所需的基本条件，还有爱。爱是什么？爱可以是关怀，关心，接受等等。关心未必要鞭打，责骂，他可以是在需要时的陪伴，交流。打是疼骂是爱，说得有道理，但是常常会被滥用与误解。我打孩子因为我教孩子，因为我为了他好。是的，藤鞭是一个很好的工具帮助孩子学习，但是每一次打孩子的时候，可以问问你自己，你鞭打孩子是来发泄自己激昂并且失控的情绪，还是情绪已经被控制，鞭打只是为了让孩子记住他应该懂得但是却违反的规则？如果鞭打不知觉中是为了发泄父母的情绪，那孩子也真的太无辜了。一个小错，因为父母的心情不好，出手重了而受那么严重的皮肉之苦。试问长期在这样的情况下长大，如何建立起那份归宿感？教育孩子并不简单，如何爱，如何关怀孩子，这些都需要长期的学习与改良目前的相处方式。

孩子太依赖父母，还是不亲父母，原因也出自于归宿感。一些孩子因为没有那份归宿感，所以他们对父母疏远了；同时一些小孩也因为那一份归宿感，所以孩子很黏父母，去到哪里跟到哪里。很多时候，事情都很有趣的，因为很多事情都是两面的。孩子黏父母，父母反而不耐烦；孩子疏远时，父母则不知所措。孩子是很单纯的，谁把心交出来对他好，他们会感受到然后建立起信任与依赖。如果孩子和你很亲，那么真的恭喜了，相信你为孩子付出了不少努力与时间，纵欲有今天这般亲密的关系；如果孩子不是很喜欢靠近你，那么看来还需要再努力些，建立一个更坚固的感情。

There’s no life until you found the truly you

2011-02-17T22:54:00.005+08:00

當你接受自己，人生才真正開始：你也可以用半點覺知，來改變命運軌跡

人人都有追求快樂的本能，
卻都少有面對痛苦的勇氣。
當你不敢面對實相，
你就會架構一個偏離實相的幻境。
當你不能接受自己，
你就會鑽入一個否定自己的死胡同。

　　人生在世，最怕的不是做夢，
　　而是分不清現實和幻境。
　　如果你不能接受真正的自己，
　　那麼，你注定要和這個世界為敵。

　　人生就像一場牌局，幾乎沒有人會滿意自己手中拿到的牌。

　　有人不滿意自己的家世、長相，有人恨自己沒有才華，有人討厭自己的八字和機運，有人無法接受自己的遭遇。

　　其實，人生如果真是佛陀所說全然是苦，那麼有一半以上的苦，來自無法接受自己。

　　當我們來到這世間，我們的膚色、體態、五官、血統、基因和家庭，這些因緣，都是成為我們存在的基礎，成為我們和這世間的互動介面，沒有了這個身體，沒有了這個介面，我們就根本不存在。

　　當我們不能全然地接受真正的自己，而以厭惡的心態來對待，或跟自己的因緣嘔氣，那麼，我們將會用錯誤的認知和方式，無情地折磨自己的身心，直到超出極限崩潰為止；當你一直討厭自己，你就會想盡辦法去當別人，就好比有些人騎著腳踏車或機車，驚見別人開法拉利呼嘯而過，就沉不住氣，忘了自己的極限也跟了上去……

　　作者在書中傳達一個很重要的訊息，那就是：「用覺知去接受自己，接受實相，哪怕是只有半點覺知，也能讓我們脫離妄夢的枷鎖，改變自己的人生軌跡，成為一個自在的人。」當我們有了覺知才能從人生體驗中，看見自己過去的軌跡，以及未來的人生軌跡將如何走。如此將可以擁有強大的力量，去度過各種低潮和困境，也才可以擁有自信，去迎接下一個高潮和平靜。

　　此外，作者也透過自身及週遭親友的故事，告訴讀者人生在世，最怕的不是做夢，而是分不清現實和幻境。每個人都有做夢的權利，有時候是美麗的，有時候卻是可怕的。然而不管是什麼樣的夢，真正會做夢的人，會準確地使用每一把鑰匙開啟夢的門把，然後用自己的力量去管理這些夢，開啟屬於他獨一無二的人生。

　　人人都有追求快樂的本能，卻都少有面對痛苦的勇氣。學著接受你的一切，不管你喜不喜歡，你才能真正踏上人生旅程。希望這本書，可以帶給你啟示和勇氣，讓你更看清自己，進而接受真正的自己，從此展開新的人生，改變自己的命運。

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

一个人吃了晚餐,

在大众书局站着站着,

就把一本书读完了..

省下了买书的钱,

但依然得到了书里要带出的精神..

非常满足与充实的一个夜晚..

接受自己, 听起来好像有点好笑, 接受自己来做什么, 神经病..

但是在这个社会里,有多少人是为了盲目追随着父母,兄长,偶像等人的影子不停的在为生活奔波..

有人每天不停的工作,加班,为了就是多找一些钱, 但是钱还是一直不够用;

有人每天埋怨,为什么我的身体一直生病,为什么我就不能像别人一样健康,但是病魔还是不停纠缠;

有人每天自责,为什么自己不能聪明一点,为什么自己总是那么无能..

这一些,不就是排斥着最真实的自己吗?

追随父母兄长,偶像的当儿, 我们向往的是他们的生活..

我们想要他们的生活, 因为我们看到他们的生活好像很不错..

但是有些人盲目的追随, 反而让他们越来越迷失了自己..

到最后自己想要什么都不清楚了..

看见人家去旅行,自己也去旅行但是旅行的生活是否适合自己, 却被忽略了..

不停的工作,加班, 钱有了.. 但是时间没了..

失去了可以好好让自己享受生活的时间,

生活只剩下对金钱的追求..

埋怨生活,埋怨身体,埋怨自己..

但是坦率一点来说,这就是塑造我们的东西..

就算他再差,也还是我们自己..

我们不能够抛弃糟糕的生活, 因为它不会因此而引来美好的生活;

我们不能够抛弃不健康的身体, 因为它是我们一出世就带来的躯壳;

我们不能够放弃不完美自己,因为我们放弃了我们还是我们自己吗?

所以既然不能够抛弃,不如还是好好的来爱自己,接受自己的优缺点...

生活充满了考验,

就把这一切不美好, 当作一种考验...

善待自己,接受自己, 然后爱自己...

~~~怎么这世界, 每个人都爱别人, 不爱自己~~~

整理

2011-02-13T23:06:00.002+08:00

讲师说，把文字打/写出来比说出来更有效的让我们把内心的感情整理出来。

但是坦荡荡的在网络上公开自己的内心，觉得很恐惧也压力。。

看美女放松下好了。。

原本准备要打很长的一片文章。。

但是。。

突然懒惰说。。

转折点

2011-01-31T23:03:00.002+08:00

走着走着，

眼前就快到分叉路口，

选择。属于自己的未来。

人生一大转折点,

曾经的目标开始动摇

该何去何从？

随波逐流,

任由命运将我摆布,

还是。。

排除万难,

控制属于自己的前途。。

静。思考。

待决定。

天天好天

2011-01-18T19:13:00.005+08:00

前天去看了天天好天回来，

在去之前看了一些网友的评语，有点担心会大失所望。。

从戏院出来后，发觉确实拍摄时使用了不少特写镜头，

只能说有点特别。。

但是我想从个人的观点来说说这部戏。。

我不是影评人，所以并不会给于太多详细的评价。。

身为一名观众，

我觉得这部电影成功带出了剧组想要带出的温馨与感动。。

散场的当时，我观察了身边的观众，确实看见有几个大男人偷偷的擦掉残留在脸上的男儿泪。。

这部电影，有感动到我。。

电影里的情节，是好多人生活里的写实。。

两个阿伯的互相斗嘴，互不服输，和城市人生活的忙碌而忽略家人，孩子甚至父母。。

这都是不停发生在我们生活里的一些情节。。

但是有谁发觉，自己原来和电影里的角色的共同点呢？

生活在单亲家庭，母亲为了维持家庭生计，

为有在外为了生活四处奔波，

但是因为工作，忽略了与孩子的沟通和交流。。

孩子在运动会独自演奏的失落，与爷爷出现后的欢喜，

其实他们想要的就是那么多。。

多一点点的关怀，多一点点的陪伴。。

除了孩子，更多人忽略了自己的父母。。

“你来跟我们一起住啦！”，“新年我们就会回去看他们老人家了啦！”

其实这些只是我们要的，不是他们要的。。

离乡背井对年轻人来说也许已经是一个挑战，

更何况对年长的他们来说。。

所有的回忆，朋友，事业，要放弃这谈何容易。。

10+1+1。。

有谁能懂是不是真的能见上10次面呢？

世事无常。。珍惜当下最为实际了。。

不管是晴天，雨天，天天都是好天。。

前提是，活在当下，珍惜每一天，天天就是好天。。

自杀风气

2010-12-19T14:04:00.004+08:00

我该怎么做？

二零一零年十二月十五日下午三时三十一分

文：陈汶杰

留遗书殉情或自杀的新闻并不陌生，但是自杀前的不久就在网络上留遗书的应该还是头一回。当看见这则新闻时还真的有点匪夷所思。面子书是个“人来人往”的社交网，并不是什么人烟稀少的冷门网站，户口里数百上千的朋友只要半数在网上就有好多人看见遗书了，怎么最后还是阻止不了悲剧呢？

其实在报章上不难碰到自杀的报道，读者们除了感叹生命的脆弱与人生的短暂，我们也希望这些事情千万别发生在我们亲朋戚友身上。仔细一想，如果我们身边的朋友告诉了我们他们寻死的念头，多少人又懂得该如何正确的回应与安慰他们呢? 很多时候我们很自然地都会斥责他们傻，甚至挑战他们是否真的有胆量去寻死，但是这又是否是个正确的回应呢？有多少人身在那个处境时真正了解我该怎么做?

附上课本截图，供参考。。但是看不到。。去这里吧。。http://www.facebook.com/photo.php

媒体除了如实报道自杀新闻的同时，也许可以向专业辅导员或心理医生寻求一些实用的方法教导读者们如何劝导萌生自杀念头的朋友。很多时候我们都想伸出援手，但是缺乏正确的劝导知识有时是会适得其反的。不但拯救不了一条生命，反而让萌生自杀念头的朋友对世间人情事物更加的绝望。试想当你真的决定要做一件事情时，身边的朋友非但不支持还频频挑战你的能耐，责骂你的愚蠢，你会有何感想和有何行动呢？

多留意身边的朋友，多关心自己的家人，也许这就是防止悲剧发生最好的方法了。

文摘光华日报异言堂

When I LOL?

2010-12-13T02:05:00.005+08:00

When is the last time I laugh out loud..

Without care bout the image and how people look on me ...

Throw away all the tiredness, the burden ...

And just put the whole body relaxing in the joyful moment..

I can't recall it.. =="

15岁的自己

2010-12-02T16:21:00.003+08:00

15岁的自己,往回一看已经是五年前的光景。

那年的我，做了什么事情？拥有什么理想？对五年后（现在）的我有什么期盼？

其实一切已经变得很模糊。。

但是无可否认，当时的我造就了今天的我。。

虽然并没有什么多大的成就，但是至少目前我走在自己当初想踏上的这条路上。

20年的人生，坦白说来也并没有多大的遗憾。。

未来的路是怎么样？我不懂，你不懂，祂不能告诉我们。

惟有好好地继续走下去。

有时太多的顾虑反而会成为了绊脚石。

虽然前面的路听别人说得并不怎么平坦，但是听说终究是听说。。

兵来将挡，水来土掩，

身上并没有太多的牵挂，所以不论结果如何还是不会有太多的损失。。

也许是时候好好想想，五年后的自己会是怎么样的。。

批判的艺术

2010-11-10T23:27:00.002+08:00

批判的艺术

二零一零年九月一日下午二时四十五分

文：陈汶杰

近日来,回中国论又掀起了一阵狂潮。网络上，面子书上好多人不停地分享与种族关系有关的课题。很多沉寂多时的影像，总之关系到种族课题的也不分青红皂白的被分享了。然后网友的反弹，咒骂就蜂拥而至。曾经在网络轰动一时的黄先生，也用了他最擅长的方式，“教训”了这一个课题始作俑者。

在众多言论中，好多无辜的友族同胞就被拖下水。明明完全没有发表过种族言论的他们，也无端端的被套上了种族主义的标签。同时，那些把整个族群套上种族主义标签的网友们，不懂有没有察觉，他们自己也是极端的种族主义者呢？什么时候一个人的言论成了整个族群的言论了呢？为什么把一个人的言论牵扯到整个族群而将他们一起辱骂？压根儿自己也是一个种族偏执狂吧！更无奈的是，如此的反弹不但不会改善马来西亚的种族关系，反而会引起更多的仇恨，不满。试想想，无端端被套上了一个不属于你的标签，你会有什么感觉呢?

各位亲爱的同胞们，当我们批判时，要无时无刻提醒自己，我们是对事不是对人。这个课题上，我们所应该关注的是为什么这一种想法会潜伏在我们身边的人脑子里。政府推广的政策分裂了人民，教育出现了问题，还是其他因素导致这一个问题出现在独立了53年的马来西亚里。这些问题比不分是非，口出狂言，“三字经”等的辱骂不是更值得探讨与发表吗？

批判是种艺术。批判所应该带来的不是伤害与愤怒，而是成长。

文摘光华日报异言堂

网络

2010-11-08T11:09:00.002+08:00

喜欢在网络上游荡..

因为网络里有数不尽的资源..

每天都可以提升自己的知识与见闻...

但是由于资源太多,

所以都是零零碎碎地去收集..

网络收罗资料并不像阅读般,从简单到深入..

网络的也许一开始就是深奥的东西..

也因如此,

天天沉迷于网络..

到头来只是拥有了一大堆零零碎碎的知识..

时间没有了..

精神没有了..

什么都没有了..

Self Awareness..

2010-10-19T23:32:00.003+08:00

Self Awareness..

How much self awareness you have with you??

What are your future Job Prospect?

What are your favorite food?

What are your favourite past-times?

What are your strength?

What are your weaknesses?

.... ....

There are so many questions we can ask ourselves..

For me, many of the questions appeared long time ago..

But unfortunately, they are still an unsolved questions..

Now there are few questions that I started to think recently..

What I wanted to work during my internship?

What is the research interest for my Final Year Project??

What I can say is..

I really no idea what is my research interest..

There are so many things I'm interested in..

But when think about Final Year Project,

I think I'm more interested to score a good mark for this project,

instead of doing something that need a lot of effort then give me a low mark.. =(

I guess this is where I start to generate my Final Year Project Title..

The world never going to be fair, so I won't complaint the education system but learn to accommodate into it.. =)

Emotions

2010-10-15T00:39:00.003+08:00

I questioned before..

If a person conceal all his emotions, smilling even he's extremely sad. Do you think that's good?

Will life be better if we shut down all our emotions? Because by that way we won't harm the people around and I seriously wonder will the people around likes to mix with us more..

Now I found the answer for this..

If we completely turn off ALL our emotions, life would be dull, less juicy, less interesting and probably less safe for us..

Fear, Anger, Disgust even is negative emotions but it still helps to protect us by letting us to able to respond to threats of harm protectively without thoughts.

Emotions are at the core of our life where they make life livable.

~Be grateful with the gifts from god and accept it unconditionally~

读书

2010-09-21T02:40:00.002+08:00

读了15年书，还在摸索什么是读书和该怎么读？

用功读书从小听到大，

但是何谓用功并不是很清楚。。

用功了考不好，

是资质问题还是不够努力或还是用错了方法。。

没有人能够给到一个答案。。

每一个学生任命的任命，继续打拼的打拼。。

而我是继续摸索的那一个。。我不盲目的打拼，更不会任命。。

命是我的，当然由我来掌控。。

背书一向来不是我的强项，

了解才能将知识学以致用。。

但生活在一个背多分的教学制度。。

让我迷惘，失去了方向。。

我懂人应该去适应环境而不是环境来适应我。。

只是突如其来的打击。。

让我乱了阵脚。。

一时失去了方针。。

时间快点流逝吧！

带我逃离这个恶梦重新出发。。

多少的努力才能够换来那点的回报?

2010-09-15T21:08:00.002+08:00

多少的努力才能够换来那点的回报?

有人说，人生就是不停的战斗

不停的战斗会不会换来一身的疲惫？

有人说，一切随缘。。

应该看开些，是你的就会给你得到。。

但是这样会不会太过慵懒了些？

那个平衡点又该如何拿捏。。

The Things I have to complete before/on 21 years old..

2010-08-20T02:16:00.009+08:00

The things I have to do before/on 21 years old..

1st is..

Remain happy with her no matter how..

Who cares about 2012.. >.<

I just want to be with you..

2nd is ..

Backpack Trip..

Have been thinking on this for so many years..

I think backpack was my dream when I'm in secondary school..

Now finally I've made the first step by booking an Air ticket for the trip..

And I found some partner too.. ^^

Hope that everything go smoothly and everyone can go by that time..

3rd things to do is

become a Voter and contribute my vote for the next Malaysia General Elections..

I've been waiting for this for 21 years..

Erm.. Or should say 5-6 years since I start reading political news..

It's time to give some help for my beloved country..

One vote maybe could not do anything..

but at least I did something for the country..

4th is..

Of course..

Complete my degree and graduate from UTAR...

5th..

Live a Life..

人生啊,要嘛甘愿死了,要嘛就精彩的活着...

2010-08-11T12:39:00.007+08:00

如果不看视频,你能察觉这首曲子不是用手弹的吗?

当我门在埋怨生活的种种时,有多少人在努力的克服困难,坚强的活下去..

刘伟说了很热血的一句话,人生啊,要嘛甘愿死了,要嘛就精彩的活着

如果没有勇气死掉,

就用尽你的所有来点缀你的人生吧!!

当然不是说不精彩的人生就没有活下去的理由,

而是应该想办法如何靠着自己的双手去创造精彩的人生...

The BIG FOUR Live In Malaysia 2010

2010-08-09T23:41:00.009+08:00

07/08/2010 was my first time went to a concert..

The BIG FOUR Live In Malaysia 2010..

at Bukit Jalil, Stadium Putra Indoor..

It's quite a sudden we decided to went to the concert since we had two free ticket..

Even though we are not so familiar with their song,

but at least we still know who are they .. >.<

There were quite many people going to the concert..

At least those normal price ticket was almost sold out..

Just left some empty seats in the VIP areas..

The stage was not too big but at least it still looks grand..

With the 4 big number 4 as the backdrop..

Their professional technical teams..

I was the technical manager for few events in UTAR that's why I was attracted by the technical teams and snaped their photo..

The encore part where they running around shakes hand with fans..

As I mention earlier, I wasn't so familiar with their songs,

but I like the part where Dicky shared his story..

Perhaps, he can be a good motivator..

He told us how he was being look down after he refuse to continue his contract to be Goku in the Journey to the West..

The director/producer (I forgot which one) told him he is not worth for money without the monkey hair on his face..

and he had gone through all of that..

He proved that without the monkey hair he still can act on the screen, perform on the stage...

Photo of us..

And some photo I snap up from an online newspaper..

http://www.kwongwah.com.my/news/2010/08/08/62.html

It was a great experience to attend a concert..

Never went before and never expected I would go to a concert since the ticket mostly is selling expensively.. >.<

Malaysia Mental Health Professions

2010-08-04T11:46:00.010+08:00

This few days I'd been doing some "googling" on the counselling and mental health professions in Malaysia.

After did these googling, I just found that Malaysia is way too far to catch up with the standard of mental health services in those develop country for instance a country like Singapore.Firstly, the mental health professions in Malaysia really need more concern from the authority such as the Ministry of Health. As what I knew at this moment, in Malaysia we just have a Lembaga Kaunselor to supervise on the service provided by the counselor but there is not much supervision on other mental health profession such as hypnotherapist, clinical psychologist, and others..

I saw some forumer discussed that some practitioner running their own business by just attending a short courses or workshop and this is a horrible condition. Usually people will seek these services when they are in needs but how many of them will really go to check out the therapist qualification? As what i've know, anyone could learn hypnosis as you just needed to attend a few workshop and you will get the certificate. They did not set a minimum qualification for the applicants so it also means the course was open to public. People who had the certificate can also obtain the license to apply hypnotherapy for public. Try to imagine, your therapist might be a person with a SPM education level plus a hynotherapy certificate issue by .. erm.. some unknown board of committee.. >.< Secondly, I think it's very hard to choose what service we should go for if we are having some mental illness. Psychiatrist? Clinical Psychologist? Hypnotherapist? Counselor? For those who have some basic psychology background might have more understanding on how to differentiate these few profession. They sound like almost the same but actually it's different. I saw some people went to seek for treatment, but who knows end up with getting medicine and went home. It's not like what that they expected where the Dr will talk with them as they watched in the drama. And I think even the doctor want to refer the client to meet clinical psychologist or counselor would lead to another few problems such as whether the client can support the expensive treatment cost for getting a therapy and medication at the same time; around that area is there any clinical psychologist/counselor available?

I've been googling for this topic because I want to find a counselor or clinical psychologist for me to have my internship at their place. Of cause I would like to go back to Alor Star because it can cut cost and save up some PTPTN money to pay for next year third sem tuition fees. But,I hardly can find a counselor nor a clinical psychologist in Alor Star.. I did not sure is they did not promote themselves through the internet or I did not put enough effort in searching for them. But yes I haven't found any of them around that area. I'm wondering if a person in Alor Star having mental illness, where he/she can seek help. Government hospital might have psychiatrist but in case the psychiatrist want to refer the client for further treatment by a clinical psychologist or counselor, where he will refer the client to?? That's another problem, not all this profession are available in an area and it might cause a lot of inconvenient to the client to travel from a place to others.

Seriously after getting know all of this I really hope that I won’t need to seek help from these people especially when I’m staying at Malaysia. At Kampar at least I still able to get some quality service from our school counselor which I am satisfy with it. When going to other area, besides than those big cities like KL, Penang.. I think better control the lifestyle don’t be too stress is a wiser choice before I have to seek help from them. It give me a kind of unorganized feel because some psychology graduates might call themselves psychologist, some not having a master in clinical psychology call themselves clinical psychologist, I saw a twenty plus students who is still studying master in a local university already is a hypnotherapist.. Waoh.. That’s scary for me. Anyhow I guess there should still have a lot of very professional doctor/psychologist/counselor around Malaysia. Just I think that more supervision should be given so that the quality of services provided can be maintain..

I guess this post is lengthy enough to make people yawn. So I’m going to stop at here.. Thanks for reading.. ^^

Keep In Mind

2010-08-03T03:36:00.001+08:00

KEEP IN MIND...

THE GOAL...

WHAT DO I WANT TO ACHIEVE ...

KEEP IN MIND...

偶像剧

2010-07-30T13:55:00.002+08:00

偶像剧里的

浪漫。。

巧合。。

来得有点不合逻辑。。

但是还是能够深深的打动观众。。

也许因为我们对生活都有个憧憬吧。。

谁不想当个有钱人？

谁不想嫁个有钱人。。

谁不喜欢跟帅哥美女在一起。。

谁不稀罕浪漫。。

谁不奢望幸福。。

剧终了还是会回到现实。。

当我们不停的期盼，等待。。

我们又花了多少时间。。

好好珍惜当前所拥有的一切呢？

负面情绪

2010-07-28T13:56:00.003+08:00

快乐...

就是那么简单..

把烦恼抛开..

把一个笑容挂在脸上..

就那么简单..

负面情绪,

只会带来更多的负面思想..

体验到了情绪的恐怖..

应该压抑负面情绪,

然后以一个勉强且虚伪的笑容带过..

还是毫无保留的释放...

应该对负面情绪寻根究底，

然后解决负面情绪的源头...

但是情绪有时未必有源头...

唯有默默的让他肆虐..

解放吧..

音乐也许是终生最好的伴侣..

老歌是永远不朽的经典..

Communication Skills

2010-07-15T17:35:00.006+08:00

2 and half years of studying psychology..

I'm still the same me..

A self centered listener.. Where I'm speaking more than I'm listen..

The bias judgment and opinion will still pop out from the mouth..

instead of just listening and focus on the people in front of me..

Changes is hard..

I guess i might need to go though the counselling textbooks once..

I wasn't pay much attention in the text books because it seems so simple and boring..

But communication skills..

Is so important...

Not socialize too much can reduce the communication problems..

but having a poor communication skills' problem is still there...

It wont just disappear by itself..

Effort need too be given...

Even change is hard..

But changes is possible...

Going to settle my counseling practicum assignment in this few days..

Even the recording is short but it shows me my weaknesses..

Thanks for the willing souls who had become my client..

i guess I'm not a good counselor at all..

p/s: Besides than counselling.. I'm still thinking.. what kind of friends I can be..

Wall

2010-07-13T23:06:00.004+08:00

心里的那道墙越筑越高..

寻找着跨越的必要..

还是找不到..

I do not know ..

whether is ..

I do not have the determination or "heart" to break the barrier..

or ..

I'm feeling comfortable staying behind barrier..

Do not know start from when..

I believe that I can survive all my own..

Socialization is not something important for me anymore..

Will this make me a freak that anti-social..

I don't even care about it..

Just care bout how to live my life in my own way..

I'm losing faith in human relationship..

I'm losing expectations on what I'll get from it..

I'm losing confidence in human nature..

Everyone wearing a mask..

And that's where the words personality roots from..

PERSONA..

which brings a meaning of mask..

Sorry if I've made you feel that I'm arrogant...

I can't help because this is the true me..

which I felt the most comfortable with..

Distance...

2010-07-07T01:18:00.003+08:00

如果你和你的他/她分隔两地请不要放手
哪怕你承受着很痛苦的思念哪怕每天晚上都会睡不着
只要你坚持了那么你将拥有别人没有的幸福
珍惜现在所拥有的才是你应该做的事
他/她不希望等来的是空白

有些事情等失去了再回头就已经没有了
当你发觉他/她是多么爱你对你多重要的时候
再回头说对不起就已经太晚了
不是每句对不起都会换来没关系的

执子之手白头偕老
因为你们的等待是值得的
虽然远隔千山万水
但是他/她的心时时刻刻都放在你身上
虽然你们想对方的时候只能发条短信
虽然你不开心的时候他没能陪在你身边
但是不要埋怨他/她
难道他/她不想陪你吗

找一个喜欢你的人容易
但是找一个用心爱你的人难
距离就是考验感情的试卷
时间就是考试的题目
茫茫人海可以找到心爱的人
这是多么大的福气

想你就是一份简单的幸福
能等到你和你在一起
才是真正的幸福

Saw this articles in a friend's blog..

Suits my current mood.. so I repost it here..

The distance is still there..

But, a big thank you for still being with me until today..

Even I'm not perfect..

But thanks for your considerate and thanks for your forgiveness..

Sometimes, I do really hate myself for being that bad..

but the hatred is neutralize by your love..

and that's the reason why my life is full of joy but not hatred..

When I was being asked..

Who hurt you the most??

I've been searching for the answer..

And the answer still remain as NONE..

Maybe is because of Nature causes which related with my personality.. I do not give much love around..So I won't get hurt too badly..

Maybe is because of Nurture Causes which I've been receiving more hurt than harm..

It's really awesome to know how fast time flies..

I still can remember the night where everything starts...

Yet.. We have already come that far..

There's more roads to walk in the future...

But no matter how far the distance is..

I'm going to make sure my heart is stick with you as near as possible..

Because you are my life treasure..

For past.. For now.. For Future..

How do you deal with your emotions when you are sad???

2010-07-01T01:20:00.005+08:00

How do you deal with your emotions when you are sad???

There was a friend of mine asked me this questions today..

And I stunned for a while..

Thinking and digging in my memory on the sad/unhappy moments that I faced recently..

So that I can answer his questions.. Truthfully..

When I'm thinking..

I was like.. Waoh.. Damn I love my life..

It's not easy for me to dig out some sad/unhappy moments from my memory..

In my perceptions, nothing going to be perfect..

Not me.. Not my life...

I guess there might be some hard time for sure..

But unconsciously I'd forget all of them..

I'm thinking is it I've been protecting myself very hard..

I shield up myself..

So that not much of people/stuff can trigger my emotions especially sadness..

That's why I life my life the way I wanted it to be..

No sadness.. and .. No regret..

I not sure shield up myself is good or bad..

But at least.. I'm happy with the current me..

I do not need to be the best friend to everybody...

I just need to be a friend of them..

And I'm satisfy..

With what I'm having now..

Learn to appreciate..

And life would be better..

Appreciate the bad moments because it provide a chance for you to learn to be strong..

Appreciate the good moments because it provide you with happiness and joy..

Enjoy your life no matter what situation you are in..

Then.. You maybe can forget about learning how to deal with sadness???

我最想要的是什么

2010-06-28T01:49:00.002+08:00

忙碌的生活, 有时会不小心就迷失了自己...

应该抽点时间停下脚步问问自己..

自己到底想要什么..

羡慕他人的人生,埋怨自己的一切..

已经变成了一种习惯..

为什么别人的成绩那么好,为什么我努力了还是没有进步..

为什么别人有车驾,为什么我需要在烈日下骑脚踏车..

为什么别人有那么多朋友,为什么我那么寂寞..

有时候想想,

成绩好我门就会快乐吗?

还是会被困在一个笼子了,一直不停的牺牲掉其他的事物与活动,就为了保住个好成绩?

很多是后确实是看我门自己如何去看待一件事情，

不同的观点就会有不同的见解，

我们并不能说其中一个见解是错误的，

或许当中的差别只在于大家由不同的观点出发。。

也许是时候。。

问问自己的内心。。

我最想要的是什么。。

Warm Up Post..

2010-06-25T13:26:00.003+08:00

It has been quite some times I did not update the blog..

Even though sometimes got some random thoughts cross over my mind,

which I have spend some times in think about it..

I feel that I've learn something but yet now when I'm ready to recall it back..

I can't remember what I've learn.. haha..

Maybe I guess have to be more efficient and type it out whenever I have something that cross over my mind..

This new sem started for one months ..

Have been extremely busy for this first four week because having the counselling and wellness week activity on hand..

Thank God.. Everything is almost done..

Which means it is almost the time to rush all the assignment, mid term and presentation..

I am finally having my 1st laptop with me in Kampar replace the old desktop that have been with me for about 6 years if not mistaken..

It is having it's retiring life where I got no idea how to dispose it..

Checked the price if resell it only can get RM100 plus plus..

So I guess, going to leave it aside first..

p/s: just a warm up post for me to continue to blog.. ignore it.. ==

Life is a destiny

2010-06-03T00:46:00.003+08:00

Year two sem two..
Another sem started..
I guess maybe should some clear direction to myself..
What I'm going to set as the target for myself..
Gonna use this few days to think bout it..

Time flies and I really hope that every moments that I'm living is worth it..
I do not want too much of regret in my life..
Because still I think and belief my life is kinda short..
Maybe as what show in the 2012,
the earth will face a disaster.. and me..
one of victimes of the god rage..
Who knows.. and I dun care bout it..
I just want to have a LIFE...

Life is a destiny,
Monkey D Luffy's destiny is to be a pirate, maybe the greatest pirate after Gol D Roger..
Naruto's destiny is to be a ninja, maybe the hokage...(I think most probably will)
What is my destiny??
I not yet know and I think I wont be sure until i think it when i'm breathing for the last time..

The current failure doesn't means that our destiny is to be a failure..
What had achieved might not be the greatest achievement in your life too..
So put in mind.. Future is full of hope..

Dream as you will live forever and live as you will die tomorrow..

人生就如昙花一现

2010-05-25T13:45:00.002+08:00

人生有太多的过眼云烟，昙花一现。。

没人能够保证，
今天的自己还会不会和明天的自己一样。。

也许自己并没什么太大的改变，
但是身边的朋友。。情人。。
没人能确保那份感情还在。。

爱情不能天长地久，
因为就算再长再久，也过不了一百年吧。。
能坚持过半百的已经算是一份很坚韧的爱情了。。

友情。。
一向来对友情都不抱太大的希望。。
目前大家开心就好。。
友谊永固，还是把他留在纪念册里就好。。
也许那份情谊难灭，
但是还会不会和当初伴的熟悉。。
应该很难说的。。

p/s: 看了篇文章后纯粹少许的感触。。

我

2010-05-04T11:21:00.003+08:00

恒心这回事，

确实还真的很难。。

开始踏出了第一步，

但是感觉上。。

还是维持不到理想的状态。。

怀疑着自己的能力。。

不懂我能不能够达到目标。。

追求进步，

改变。。

但是到底做到了多少，

我也不懂得如何衡量。。

也许，需要给自己一个明确的目标。。

My Study Week

2010-04-29T19:36:00.005+08:00

Study week...
Is it means that this is a week that full of stress and hiding inside home..
Doing nothing else but just keep study study and study??

hmm..
lets see how's my study week..
This study week is slightly different because I think this is the first study week that I'm having such an active yet healthy lifestyle..
Almost everyday I went to swimming pool to have an hour of swimming sessions..

Most of the time I'll try to wake up early and go to the swimming pool,
so after the swimming sessions,
have to find some place to have my breakfast lor..

And..
due to the advertisement of Mc donald bout it's breakfast set,
I was attracted to Mc donald to get my breakfast few days already..

Step 1 - 2 - 3

Egg McMuffin and Hotcakes..

A simple burger, with a cup of Arabica Coffee..

Give you a good starting for the brand new day..

and the most important is..have breakfast together every morning are just so great.. ^^

~~~I'm Loving It !!! ~~~

Starbucks Cofee Addiction

2010-04-24T19:05:00.005+08:00

I think i am having Starbucks Addiction.. >.<
Even I'm poor now..
Having only RM2o with me..
But I still decide to have Starbucks instead of buying some petrol for my car..
Make the decision to turn to Juru Auto City to get myself a green tea latte.. ^^
(Actually I already doubting whether can reach home with the petrol left before I make the turn to Juru Auto City)

Without cash with me, I only can try my best to drive back with the petrol left in my tank lor.. Drive drive drive..
when there is still 50KM only reach to my house,
The petrol warning light was lighted..

The journey was interesting..
because I'm driving under stress..
Stress.. Anxiety..Excitement.. Mixed feelings.. =D
I might finish up the fuel anytime and have to call for help..
Well, That is embarassing.. lol..

When there are still 20km plus before reach my home,
I go out from the highway and look for a petrol station..
And I break myself record..
I pump RM5 petrol for my car..
I was so.. shy to take the five bucks and tell the counter i want RM5 petrol for my car..
Filling up the fuel is so fast because RM5 only will get 2 litre of petrol..
Anyhow, I think that is a wise decision because seriously I don think it can bring me home safely without the RM5 petrol..

So, next time if you are driving with limited cash with you..
What decision you will make?
Starbucks or Shell?
haha..
I guess I still will go for Starbucks.. >.<

~Life need to put in some ingredients instead of just the flavouring ~

P/s: I'm home!!!!!!!

Penang's Protect Environment Effort

2010-04-21T02:55:00.005+08:00

We all know we have to use lesser polystyrene, lesser plastic bags so that we can help to preserve the environment..

But when reach the supermarket,

we still grab a lot of plastic bags because plastic bags are really useful for us..

Sometimes, it cant be deny that government really takes an important roles in contribute in preserving the environment..

The actions taken by Penang Government make a good starting point for the recycling activities in Malaysia.

They organize the activities to clean up the seashores by getting helps from all the people and from the news report the tourist also join them in picking up all the rubbish from the seashores..

Penang government had make a campaign to make sure there are few days without plastic bags..

and now.. a new campaign is going to implement again to reduce the usage of polystyrene box..

According to the news i have read, this new campaign will start from next year..

and the food stalls who still using the polystyrene box will not able to renew their business license..

I guess this activities is much more useful when compare to the activities such as sending a Malaysian to sit on a space shutter to go to the outer space and claim that we have an astronaut..

Furthermore, the so called astronaut was sent to outer space to do an experiment whether he can make a Roti Canai at there.. @#$%^&*

Make a research how can he pray in the outer space.. ~!@#$%^

All of the money spent on this single person if use in protecting the environment,

we might had protect a lot beautiful beaches around Malaysia..

Sometimes really wonder..

What is inside some of the politicians mind..

Keep coming out with those weird idea which just wasting money but give no contribution..

爱就勇敢说出来

2010-04-19T00:27:00.000+08:00

刘墉先生的书里说过，

有个老婆婆，在临终前她的几个朋友少了他最爱吃的鱼头去探望她，

听到了她老人家瞒了十几年的秘密：

“鱼头虽然好吃，我也吃了半辈子，却重来没有真正爱吃过，只因为家里环境不好，丈夫孩子都爱吃鱼肉，只好装作爱吃鱼头，我这一辈子，只盼望能吃鱼生上的肉，哪曾真爱吃鱼头啊！”

这个情景会不会很熟悉呢？

最多肉的鸡腿都是留给我们这些晚辈在吃。。

好的东西，总是留给了我们。。

虽然这是一种爱的表现。。

但是不用口说出来，我们也渐渐地感觉不到了。。

反而会开始觉得他们的胃口很奇特呢！！

有时甚至还会讥讽地说，有好料也不会享受。。

接受东方教育的我们思想比较保守，

我有个教授说过，

东方人比较婉转，有个故事是这样的。。

有天，A先生带他父母到西方国家游玩，自己突然有急事就暂托友人照顾他父母半天。。

晚上，A先生回来接他父母时，第一句话就是你们吃饱了吗？

父母很委屈的说：“你的朋友都没给我们东西吃。”

A先生听了很生气的去和朋友对峙，

朋友就说：“我问你父母他们要不要吃点东西，他们说不用了不用了，所以我才没准备食物给他们啊！”

之后才发觉，原来是场误会。。

通常我们到朋友家做客，朋友说要喝水吗？要吃东西吗？

我们通常怎么回复呢？

不用了啦。。我刚吃饱（就算明明很饿的）。。都是些客套话。。

但是在我们的风俗里，友人还是很自然的那些东西出来招待，

然后我们就很自然的吃喝起来了。。

但是对于在西方生活的A先生的朋友，不要就是不要的意思啊！！

这个故事是要说明，东方人都喜欢把事情很婉转的表达。

婉转有时就会造成错误的诠释，然后误会就很接踵而来。。

爱不说出来，别人怎么能懂呢？

就算是骨肉相连的父母与子女，

把爱收在心里，谁能了解啊？

有人说，暗恋很苦。。

所以别再暗恋身边的人了。。

把爱说出来吧！

夜-感触-叹

2010-04-16T23:52:00.003+08:00

Random post..

2010-04-15T01:16:00.004+08:00

How much is the capacity for a heart to keep all the things that we suppress inside?

Will it become overload with problems and end up malfunctioning?

Dealing with people in daily life is hard..

Because people have emotions..

We might unconsciously provoked others with our words,

We might unconsciously hurt others with our words,

We might accidentally create trouble because of our words.

It is tiring.. But we still have to mix around..

This is the human nature that we need support from others..

Even in the society, we can never survive or live healthily if we always tend to be alone..

Controlling of emotions is one of the things that I'm currently learning..

This might be an endless learning journey that I'll never graduate from..

Maybe it's easy for me to control my emotions when I'm calm and stress free,

but when come to some stressful period,

I realize that all my FF words will come out and the fire is there..

I dunno how the people around me look on me bout this problem,

But I do realize I'm not so High in EQ..

I'm craving for growth..

I do not want to stay at the same stage for too long period of time..

I would like to move on in my life..

This happen because I never expect I would have a very long life..

Maybe fifty to sixty years.. Who knows..

If really sixty years I've been completing 1/3 of my path of life..

There is too much of risk in this world and we will never know what's happening next..

How to fill up the 2/3 of the rest of my life so that I won't be regret for wasting too much of time?

Moving forward..

So I've been rushing..

Rushing to have my tertiary education,

rushing to graduate and rushing for the time I came out to the society and feed myself..

It has been twenty year, for my family to financially support me..

and I saw that a lot of people around me are so dependent on themselves especially on the financial parts..

Then I started to feel guilty for still being a burden to the family..

Can't be deny, I'm from a pampered family..

I always get what ever I want.. and I started to have my freedom since very long ago..

I've receiving a lot of care and love from the family,

but sometimes I'm thinking how to repay it back..

Expressing the love directly is not so easy for me..

I'm wondering how long ago is the last time I said I love you to my dad, mom, sisters..

Maybe the time I started to learn how to talk?

I've no idea about that..

What about you?

I have taken a first step in the previous month..

When I'm greeting my mom happy birthday through a text message,

I add a sentence inside which is 妈，我爱你。。

Even it is just a text message but I've been hesitating and it is hard even I just type it..

Hard as in I couldn't find a suitable position for that sentence to fit inside the greeting..

Anyhow, I manage to send it..

I din get a reply but I think she had received it..

and this is still a very first step I've took..

I guess..

That's all what I would like to say for tonight..

最了解男人和女人的人。。

2010-04-14T00:01:00.002+08:00

男人在男人面前绝对保持尊严，女人在女人面前也绝对矜持。

结果了解男人的不是男人，是女人。

了解女人的不是女人，而是男人。

摘自刘墉 -《爱就注定了一生的漂泊》

你的长处是什么？

2010-04-11T11:54:00.002+08:00

你的长处是什么？

当认真的思考下来。。

这个问题，考倒我了。。

俗语说天生我才必有用。。

但是何谓我才？？

我们比较容易看见别人的缺点，同时也比较容易看见别人的优点。。

只是看你从哪个角度去观察那个人。。

我们很难发现并面对自己的缺点，同时也很少会看见自己的优点。。

很多时候人，难免会寻找，自己生存的意义是什么。。

自己到底有什么好。。

是不是真的应该执着的去寻找自己的长处，

还是每件事情都去试一试，

就好比学会游泳，但是并不需要不是游得最快的。。

学会音乐，但是并不是精通于音乐。。

学会烹饪，一个只会让家人填饱肚子的自家厨子而不需要是闻名的大厨。。

学会打电玩，但是只能够去和朋友社交，虽然时常都落败。。

有时想，这会不会就是自己的长处呢？

所有东西都碰一点点。。

这才是多姿多彩的人生吧？

其实并不需要觉得自己一无是处，

因为有时候只需要换个观点，

就会发现不少自己值得欣赏的长处了。。

p/s:好久没打中文，文笔生疏了好多。。

Psychology Prom Night 2010

2010-04-03T15:25:00.005+08:00

Psychology Prom Night 2010 organized by Psychology Society..

26th of March 2010

UTAR Heritage Hall

7.00pm - 12.00am

After few weeks of hard work,

Yeah, we did that..

We had organized the very first Psychology Society Prom Night..

In Kampar..

I was the Technical Manager for this event..

Yeah Technical manager again after the RCM Committee for May 2008..

And I just sign up for another event's Technical Manager for next sem.. @.@

Since I joined Peer Helping Program,

it is compulsory for me to take an event to join the organizer team..

So, I pick Technical Again~~~~

Anyhow, I'm quite a noob with all those technical stuff..

I got no idea how to set those PA at all..

but surprisingly.. there is a DJ being invited to this prom night..

and he help me set all the equalizer..

Pheww~~~

Ken, Me, Shu Fen, CS and Kean Tat..

Me and Laily..

Ken, CS, Kean Tat, me..

Sin Zee, who had help me a lot through out the preparation and when the event is on..

Me and Josheen..

Me and Moon...

Shu Xao and me...

Kean Tat and Me..

I do not really go to watch all the show at that night..

So, I'll gonna skip in commenting whether it was a good prom night..

But,

I got a comment is we should have started all the planning in an earlier time..

>.<

Anyway, good job for all the committee member..

Just For You..

2010-03-31T03:49:00.002+08:00

You are the main actor in my life..

Your role is never can be replace by anyone..

When I'm feeling down, you are the one who cheer me up..

When I'm stress up, you are the one who calm me down..

The presence of you in my life is a gift for me..

The most precious gift as I always mentioned..

I think.. It is good to keep reminding you that every second I treat you as the most precious gift I have in my life..

Thank you for be with me..

Thank you for your love..

Thank you.. Thank you.. and Thank you..

My dear..

Wan Ying..

Counseling

2010-03-23T02:13:00.005+08:00

How does a counseling sessions sounds for you?

Mad?? Insane?? Burnout?? scratch your record and make you being labelled as mentally unhealthy people??

I guess many people, included psychology students also will hesitating whether wanna seek help from a counselor or not..

Not to deny, I'm one of them also..

I'm struggling because I do not know that is it the problems I am facing had already reach to the extent that I need to seek help from a professional..

I'm struggling because I am thinking can I use what I studied to apply on myself and can save back my time and energy to meet up with a counselor..

As I posted out in the last two post,

I had take the initiative to approach a counselor and make an appointment for a counseling sessions.

I really can feel the therapeutic changes that had help me to deal with my problems..

Sometimes we tend to think that counseling sessions is something very serious,

but actually it is just a sharing sessions, just like chit chatting with a friend..

What makes it different is, it is more promoting growth and worth for your time..

Instead of stabbing people to a friends, talking nonsense or gossiping..

Having a person to guide you in explore out your own thoughts is cool..

I can feel that I am being understand and being accepted just like what I have learn from my textbooks..

Have been studying a lot on how to help the clients but not too much focus on client's feeling ..

When the role changes, it is good in let me understand more on what the client will feel if I'm able to apply those skills in future..

Ermm.. what to add on..

Actually wanna a type a journal for this two sessions but I feel that it maybe will be be too bored edi..

One more point that wanna share with my readers,

Stepping inside a counseling room does not mean that you need to have a lot of unsolved problems, it can be exploring yourself, understanding yourself better, guiding you in making some choices like what course to study and so on..

~~Have a nice day~~

Screw it...

2010-03-17T23:38:00.003+08:00

God..

No matter who are you or where you are..

No matter you are creators or human's creations..

Thanks a lot for all the challenges that you put into my life..

Things will never go the other way round..

I'm the player for my life..

so..

I'm gonna FXXK them up..

SCREW STATISTIC II..

SCREW ALL THE ASSIGNMENT..

SCREW MYSELF FOR THE LAST MINUTES WORK..

SCREW IT..

The first and ever counseling experience

2010-03-16T00:10:00.002+08:00

After hesitating for quite a long time,

finally i made the appointment last week..

and have my first sessions with my Uni's counselor, Mr Angus last Monday (15 of March)..

What I can say is.. It was Amazing..

Suppress too much of feeling is too bad for ourself..

Once throw it out..

Feel much better..

It help a lot in widen up the perspective..

Give alternative life choices for us..

Even have studied much of the counseling and psychology theory

but

I think we are still human beings..

It's for sure that we are also fragile..

With this first step taken..
I think in the future if I am facing some problems which troubling me for some period of time..
I won't hesitate to step in the counseling room again..

天使の翅膀

求职记 ２

Decision

求职记 1

是糖果还是米

是糖果还是米

考试不是学习的一切

爱情－一辈子的学习

在乎

爱情三部曲

那些年，这些年

理想……坚持？

跑步的省思

享受独处

缺氧 Too Much CO2

他人の眼光

请您拨打999

请您拨打999

Cambodia Trip 1

The bystander effect

石头的坚持

理想是什么？

Obsession on Clinical Psychologist

放纵后的心得

一起群殴劫案

Dealing with Negative Emotions

热血的青春

对自己的facebook status，抱着什么期待？

10公里后的感触

Recent updates

指责与自责

指责与自责

人都是犯贱的

在这18年里， 我能做到什么东西呢？

愚人节惊喜

Saturday Afternoon - The Coffee Bean

不能改变社会，但能关心身边人

不能改变社会，但能关心身边人

男生和女生的分别

报国家恩

当老师的前一晚..

千夫所指

结束

渴望关怀

Feng Shui Master Joey Yap's Bazi Profiling Report, Reveal the insights to your personality.

爱情，没有不劳而获

孩子的归宿感

There’s no life until you found the truly you

整理

转折点

天天好天

自杀风气

我该怎么做？

When I LOL?

15岁的自己

批判的艺术

批判的艺术

网络

Self Awareness..

Emotions

读书

多少的努力才能够换来那点的回报?

The Things I have to complete before/on 21 years old..

人生啊,要嘛甘愿死了,要嘛就精彩的活着...

The BIG FOUR Live In Malaysia 2010

Malaysia Mental Health Professions

Keep In Mind

偶像剧

负面情绪

Communication Skills

Wall

Distance...

How do you deal with your emotions when you are sad???

我最想要的是什么

Warm Up Post..

Life is a destiny

人生就如昙花一现

我

My Study Week

Starbucks Cofee Addiction

求职记　２

在这18年里，我能做到什么东西呢？